Let’s make love and not war!
During this article I am going to share with you 8 secrets that, thanks to my intense eagerness to learn to seduce every day better, managed to improve all my sexual relations. Based mainly on harnessing all the power of our mind to help us last longer in bed and in general, enjoy and make our partner more enjoyable in every sexual encounter.
For it we will look for a practicable union between the wildest and unbridled sex next to that transcendental sex that connects us to deep emotional level. Combining the spicy teachings of this society so eager to pornography in which we live today, with the most transcendental and spiritual from Tantra, love and seduction. Is there a desire? Let us begin…
Let’s immerse ourselves in that ocean of places that love and sex will provide us without distrust. Let’s allow ourselves to be dragged courageously by the sensations of the sexual act for the sake of a seduction that stimulates us and makes us completely mad!
- 1 1. Stimulates body, mind and spirit
- 2 2. Preliminaries are also sex
- 3 3. Making love is not intended, it is provoked
- 4 4. There is no goal
- 5 5. Happiness and joy are contagious
- 6 6. Be aware of your actions and forget everything else
- 7 7. The greatest sin is repression
- 8 8. Avoid exerting “logical” pressure on your partner
1. Stimulates body, mind and spirit
To stimulate our partner’s senses we must take into account his mind as well as his body and even his spirit. A person can have an orgasm without even touching it, only with exciting images walking through their mind that evoke them to let themselves be dragged by the senses. Especially when we worry about generating an empathic connection that makes us feel connected.
As we all know, the mind is the main sexual organ. A caress while whispering something in our partner’s ear can shake his body and drop it into the deepest senses of pleasure. However, that caress would not be the same without that provocative whisper. It is not the same to do love as to do it while trying to seduce each other. We also have to take into account what we feel and what we are transmitting with it.
Therefore, as a first step: stop thinking about sex going from what you do to start thinking about what you do, what you say, what you feel and what you transmit.
2. Preliminaries are also sex
Shall we get straight to the point? Without preliminaries, I’ll tell you! If you don’t use preliminaries or tend to skip them, making love will be seen more as something you’re interested in to vent than as what your own expression implies.
Whenever I have taught a course on seduction I have said the same thing to all students: sex as a simple outlet for me is not worth it. And on this I’m sure most women agree with me.
It is the preliminaries of seduction that lead us to liberation from an uncontrollable desire. Preliminaries that for the sexual act to reach its full climax (if possible, repeatedly) need that seductive stimulation constantly. This can be achieved by learning to generate sexual tension with our gestures, insinuations and two-way languages.
Let’s also bear in mind that most women have many problems to reach orgasm only with penetration. A pleasant and lasting sex needs variety and a constant stimulation of our body, senses and emotions. We cannot limit ourselves only to the physical and expect orgasms to happen one after the other.
On the other hand, incorporating the approach of seduction when making love brings us other benefits such as:
- Increased desire, woman’s moisture and man’s erection.
- Longer duration of the sexual act to be considered as a pleasant and entertaining process loaded with constant stimuli.
- Freedom from insecurities in men with a tendency to premature ejaculation, since their focus of attention goes from looking at their fears to concentrating on seducing. Causing this change of focus that our mind does not leave space in their thoughts to those fears that end up becoming reality.
3. Making love is not intended, it is provoked
–Honey, are we having sex tonight?
–It’s just that I don’t feel like much, my head hurts a little.
Making love is not signing a contract. Shall we do it? Come on, it’s okay, or… Better not, I don’t feel like it. What the hell is that?
Some people say that trust is disgusting, but the problem is not trust. The problem is that we abandon the path of seduction and begin to see sentimental relationships as if they were work relationships.
Often our social behaviors become so rational that sometimes we are not able to distinguish our coworker from our sexual partner. Forgetting to excite with our words in a use of language that combines sexuality and romanticism.
Do you have a long way to go to finish your report? Do you have a long way to go? For heaven’s sake. If you want your partner to reach one orgasm and another and another, stimulate his senses to the point where he can’t resist one more second without letting go of all the energy inside him and collapsing on you. That’s seduction! It is not proposed, it is stimulated and it happens.
In short, you must never abandon the game. We have a good example in erotic stories. No one would read them if they only narrated a here I catch you here I kill you. Its pages must be full of provocations, interesting conversations, adventures and sexual insinuations that keep us in suspense. Sex being the consequence of all those incessant stimuli. And just as it excites us in literature, we can use it in our own lives to give them an impulse of emotion.
4. There is no goal
Why do you want to make love better? Answer this question.
Already? if the answer is that you want to get more orgasms in your girl (this if you are a boy of course), again we are wrong. Orgasms must be a consequence of such intense enjoyment and passion that they need to be released.
You should forget about the orgasm and concentrate on stimulating the senses at all times.
Having an orgasm is not an objective, it is a consequence!
It happens to many girls that they are so aware of coming (surely because they have had difficulties in the past, or because the boy has pressured them) that they are continuously thinking about coming and their mind prevents it. Causing this tension a deviation from the state of flow that makes us enjoy making love, to end up causing what we did not want to happen: stay at the doors.
5. Happiness and joy are contagious
It’s impossible to make another person enjoy without first enjoying yourself! One of the biggest mistakes that are made in sexual relations is to maintain an attention with high doses of insecurity that the other person enjoys, while we inhibit ourselves from enjoying the process.
To make another person enjoy sex with us the first thing we have to do is set an example.
One of the things that excites us most in bed is seeing our partner enjoy himself. This makes us relax and enjoy the process more. And if we are continually thinking and worried about whether the other person is enjoying or not, we will only get the opposite. Thus spreading our doubts.
On the other hand, if the other person detects that “we are sacrificing ourselves” to make them enjoy it, their excitement will plummet. The key is to relax and enjoy to the maximum the pleasure that the sex gives us so that the other person is contagious.
Don’t ask me if I’m happy, just show me that you’re happy with me.
6. Be aware of your actions and forget everything else
Most of the time human beings run on autopilot. If you are used to going to a place by a road, try to change that routine and start going by a different road. You’ll probably have to turn around to get distracted without realizing it, because you’ll have automatically gone the way you were used to. That’s what happens when we are not aware of what we do.
Similarly when we make love this fact can make us incur a loss of sensitivity. It would be something like eating without tasting, or touching someone without feeling anything for him. We do, but we’re not really there.
On the sexual plane we have to put our thoughts aside and concentrate on the stimuli we perceive. This is what the theories of Tantra defend. We have to go fully into it so that we not only make love, but become the energy that shapes it.
The touch between the bodies, each caress, each look, each smile, each gesture… If we are aware of each of these actions and we are sensitive to the sensations they generate, sex becomes an act of spiritual realization, like a meditation that connects you with the whole.
Therefore, forget to review the shopping list, how cool the latest Ferrari model is, or the problems you’ve had recently with your boss and focus on the magic of the sexual moment. As if it were a healing moment in which you disconnect from everything to enter the depths of sexual energy.
When eating or drinking, become the taste of food, satisfy yourself.
(Tantra, Fifth sutra)
7. The greatest sin is repression
For thousands of years human beings have been given to think that sex is a sin. There are people who receive pressure from their families or close circles or religious who condemn sex as an act of pleasure and joy. These religious currents that condemn sex as an act of “sinful delight” have always promoted sacrifice as a spiritual way.
Sex is not bad or sinful, we are the people who look at it from one perspective or another. Sex is part of our nature. And by the way, one of the most beautiful parts, because it is the one that gives us life. Nowadays we hardly condemn sex openly, although unconsciously the thing is not so clear.
Sex is an act of great beauty that life offers us that can lead us to a true spiritual union with another person. It is the responsibility of each of us to detach ourselves from past conditioning that is not beneficial to our well-being and way of life. in order to be able to enjoy and let ourselves be carried away more and more when we make love.
8. Avoid exerting “logical” pressure on your partner
Before starting the sexual act we must take into account the mood of our partner. We may want to do it a lot, and as we saw in a previous advice, instead of proposing it, we stimulate it.
However, there will be situations in which even if we do not provoke the desires of the other person through seduction, we achieve a state of mind that is prone to the sexual act. In this case it is advisable to accept it and let it pass before exerting excessive pressure, since if the other person detects that we only provoke it to satisfy our interests at that moment, we can be selfish and make the sexual desire decrease both for that and for future sexual encounters.
It is important that making love is for a couple an act of mutual enjoyment is triggered, not as an exploitation of the bodies in the moments that demand it.
The freedom to experience sexual enjoyment is a right given to you by nature. Enjoy sex in all its exponents. Don’t repress yourself! Make the other person fly! Experiment and make the world fade around you. With respect, love and gratitude for every sensation.