In the depths of the night I was slowly losing in their smiles. I had already spent a couple of hours getting to know her and her friends on one of those summer nights where vacations never seem to end. There’s always a little more partying waiting for the end of the day, even on Sunday nights. However, even if I wanted her, it was with her, Colette, that I had the least contact with.
Leaning on some armchairs, I decide to go and talk to her at a time when she is away from the group while the rest of those present move their hips.
—I think I should ask you to dance a little since your friends can’t convince you.
—No, I’m not good at anything – she responds nervously with marked gestures of shyness.
—I’m sure that’s the least of it. Dancing isn’t my specialty either, but it can be even more fun, don’t you think?
—What could be fun about that?
—I don’t know, to feel that nervousness of not knowing any more dance steps and to find comfort in looking into each other’s eyes. Maybe in hugging us…
Little by little I am telling Colette how much I would like to feel those moments of vulnerability in which, without knowing what is going to happen, we discover the beauty of our emotions in their insecurity. In the constant knowledge of two bodies completely new to each other.
This makes me sigh as if there was something squeezing in my throat. A desire that yearns to be free more and more and that I can clearly perceive that she is also feeling.
—Your words show that you know how to talk to girls.
—Oh yeah? Well, I keep a few more secrets on my lips. Better ways to tempt you.
—You’re not tempting me at all because I’ve already seen you coming.
—Well, so as not to tempt you, you don’t hide it very well – I respect it with charm and a contained laugh.
—Okay, my actions speak for themselves. I like this captivating game, but I’m good enough to resist – whisper accompanying my laughter -. Just a simple moment of madness…
The conversation is getting more and more fun. Their reactions and gestures are charming and I can’t stop imagining how much I’d like to stick it next to me and taste it as if our worlds collided hatching together.
—Those simple moments of madness are what form life. At least when we try to live at the bottom of its core. And as Oscar Wilde said, the best way to resist temptation is to fall into it.
—Oscar Wilde was intelligent, he said that in his interest,” he replies with a slight laugh. It would be too simple if things were as we wished at every moment. Although I like the way you think.
—That’s the good thing about temptation that makes things easy. As if we were dawning again every morning and everything else didn’t matter.
—You’re too good at putting words in their place,” he whispers with a flirtatious mistrust.
—You’re the one who inspired those words. It’s not a question of knowing how to put letters on your site, but of what feeling you put them there. It’s the bodies that speak the most. Saying whether they are tempted and want to succumb or not. That’s what your captivating gestures are all about, resisting and falling between shyness and lust, or not doing it.
At that moment the rest of the group appears to tell us that they have thought about changing their environment. It starts to get late and the place where we are is going to draw its curtains. Without thinking too much my friends and I decided to accompany them to another place where the party is more lively, the music is louder and closing later. When I arrive I don’t take long to recover my conversation with my French. This time much more animated because she has begun to dismount and captivate us with her dance.
I accompany her for a few minutes enjoying the touch of her hands and the count of her body walking close to mine. We stopped, talked and continued dancing.
—I would like to kiss you here and here and here… -eating to whisper in his ear as I touch different parts of his body with my index and middle fingers.
—Do you want to drive me crazy or what? This is very exciting but… these moments are deceptive.
—It may be, but it’s important that they exist. Even if they are deceptive. Life is a constant perceptive flow, and these magical instants are necessary to keep us sane. Chaos balances reason. Without chaos reason alone ends up destroying us in boredom.
Live with me in this chaotic time, I think. Balance yourself in unreason and wake up freer and happier in the morning. As if you had taken some burdens off yourself. Typical of day-to-day thoughts. Typical of the frustrations of lost time. You may not fall into my temptations but your mind will still recover its joviality in that unstructured disorder, out of a perfectly ordered and planned life.
It will be in the mystery nourished by the passion of the heart where we will end up succumbing.
—It’s good to know that I can inspire you, but in the course of one night, I don’t think I’ve given you anything interesting.
—What you give, you give with what you transmit. With the effect you cause. What they transmit to us, if we are sensitive to perceive it, tells us much more about someone than words. Through that sensitivity you can be known much more in a night than in a life where only superfluous facts are appreciated.
—It is difficult to respond to what you have just said, I feel light and serene. I like to live like this, without complicating my head and enjoying everything. My mystery will surely remain my charm.
—Don’t forget my kisses on your back while you stop complicating your head – I whisper caressing her waist slightly again with my fingers. I want the naughty girl inside you.
—Naughty is a girl like you who likes to play and get her bad girl part.
—I’m not bad, I’m an angel.
—I don’t agree. In any case, an angel who plays at being a demon.
—Surely you’re the one who wants that demon to be.
—Surely that’s because I see that what you want most is to be one.
—You’re going to make me shudder more than I already am. And no one has said that I just want to be an angel.
—True, only your words have said it, not your contained body wishing to explode. We all have a dark side. One that is fascinating to open and discover. To get it out we just have to dodge St. Peter and sneak in on our own through the gates of paradise.
We both start laughing leaning against a wall in the disco. Away from the eternal hustle and bustle of Trap music. Looking at each other with loose eyes. Playing cards with the shyness of glances.
—It fascinates me to see how you understand the human mind and how you know how to provoke me with each word – it blows visibly captivated without losing control.
Embedded in her analysis but falling to the effect of a seduction that makes us one in the space time of this energetic union that we have together.
—I understand you because I pay attention. I have always liked to learn about psychology and I love to meditate and explore myself. Discover myself in the sensations and explore myself in the sensations of others.
—My personality makes me more pleasant than bad… which sometimes hurts me,” he says.
—That’s because everything has its positive and negative points. There’s nothing we do that can’t be subject to criticism or misinterpreted. The ideal is to know how to balance that balance so that you can remain yourself without giving way to erroneous assumptions that others may make of you and harm you.
Conversations become deeper. We look for that depth behind simple appearances. Looking to the bottom without getting lost in the straw. Accepting the good and the bad, and appreciating their beauty by their mere awakening regardless of their direction.
—I admit that sometimes I simply prefer to lose myself – folder with security.
—And how do you imagine when you prefer that? What do you want to do or do with me now?
—That’s still a secret,” she smiles flirtatiously.
—I picture myself kissing you. Slowly, very slowly. With your bare back on the sand of the beach, caressing you with my lips as I just did on your shoulders. On all those points of your body that I have been touching. Feeling you to smile on my hands still without trusting you of the whole of my…. As you can see, I’m not so much about keeping secrets.
—Imagination is the best way to dream of things you can’t have. And yes, of course, it’s always good to be told things like that.
—Do you prefer that what I imagine doing with you stays in my secrets? Maybe I can’t have your body,” I whisper, caressing her arms and standing right in front of her. But what does your mind say? Doesn’t it really want to know a little more?
—The temptation is always there, to tell you the opposite would be a lie. You’re a little demon! -Your prayers don’t help me to know what I want.
—It’s true. I am,” I reply with a smile. That’s why you should be careful with me if you don’t want to burn yourself. Sometimes a timely retreat is a victory if we see that we will succumb in battle. Unless succumbing is what we want most…
—Aren’t you afraid to suffer when things go wrong? And if the other one doesn’t give you what you’re looking for…
At that moment I realize his reticence about an uncertain future, perhaps bathed by a past of pain where expectations have attacked him with their dissatisfaction.
—Even if we suffer, we can always resort to poetry to see passion and beauty in the very feeling of suffering. That’s why Oscar Wilde defended temptation so much, because he had that same perceptive love for the burns of passion that are forged on the skin of a life lived with intensity.
—I think I understand what you want to tell me…
—You learn to be happy by shaping your perceptions to find happiness in everything, even in bad times. Simply by appreciating energy through beauty, it doesn’t matter if you win or lose. It matters what you are experiencing. Here and now. Everything else is always fleeting…
—You tell me things that I find hard to understand but at the same time so beautiful… But you’re absolutely right. Poetry heals wounds.
—In the end I’m going to infect you with a passion for poetry. I’m from the city of a very famous poet named Miguel Hernández. In Spain throughout history there have always been very good authors. I imagine that in France too, although I don’t know it. Here there is a lot of poet culture and recent movements that are making it very fashionable. You can use it to keep improving your Spanish and to write me something nice.
—I think I still need a lot of time to be able to write those things to you.
—Don’t worry, I’ll teach you between kisses. Provocándote with my tongue.
—Don’t play with that, you know you’re not going to make it.
—Only little by little. I kiss by kiss from the line of your waist to your neck. Tasting your skin with the fine touch of my tongue. Shivering with the vibrations of your body. Traveling with my hands through your curves. Line by line. Holding your desires firmly while we close our eyes and let the bodies speak. You can say whatever you want, but you can never deny me the fantasy. Live it with me in the touch of your senses.
After this conversation, their refusals fall at our material feet in a kiss that tears my lips. Feeling all the passion explode inside their glass bottles; not being able to contain it anymore.
—You have no right to use your poetly skills to tempt me. I call it a trap.
—You may be right. But that doesn’t make it any less fun, does it? Even if we know that we are being tempted, our body responds to words and even if we don’t want to, inside we want to.
—I admit that I really like talking to you. And maybe our bodies speak for themselves.
—That’s right, dwarf, and I still want them to talk and vibrate much more…
—What is dwarf? -Ask again when you don’t know that word in Spanish.
And for some strange reason she shudders me with her innocent way of asking.
—It’s an affectionate expression. It means small.
—Are you saying I’m little? It’s true.
—Yes! A very sexy little girl who transmits a very pretty energy.
—For the energy I can agree with that, but the sexy side… I’m not much…
—I don’t know how much or how little you consider yourself, but I could show you how much I would enjoy you. I wouldn’t hesitate to admire your whole body with a certain dementia. Wandering by every inch of your skin in its nakedness.
After my insinuations, he explains to me that self-confidence is not his strongest point and that he finds it hard to receive compliments, especially to believe them. Something that I find difficult to understand here as I am fascinated by each of its subtle and seductive gestures. Enchanted by his mischievousness as a good girl and at the same time very bad.
A person with low self-esteem doesn’t usually recognize it. You don’t fool me that easily! Maybe you just need to believe it a little more.
—Yes, but I can’t. He’s stronger than me, I don’t think so.
—Well, look, if it’s worth therapy, you can imagine that you’re accompanying me in a shower while I gladly stop to taste that body you say you don’t trust. To feel how I want it. How I want to make you mine from head to toe. And by the way, feel free to do whatever you want with me. Let’s see what comes to mind and see if we can avoid leaving it in the clutches of mystery again.
—You are too strong… No one can remain insensitive to that. I want your madness to take care of me tonight – whisper before kissing me and fusing me with a strong and affectionate embrace.
—How do we like to get out of the dotted line, right?
Let madness take over us. Feeling more ourselves the crazier we get…
Life is a set of experiences. The sum of moments that slip from our hands, unforgettable is its beautiful fugacity. To which we add others that we would like to let go and never see again. Some at the stake of life make us jump and weep. To wander adrift or at a straight pace. Drift is sometimes scary, but without it nothing would make sense. So make it intense! Get ready to enjoy it intensely and jump into that beautiful bonfire… Embrace the passion! You have nothing to lose, but much to feel.