The moment we start a conversation with a girl or boy we like is crucial. That first meeting, although it is not totally decisive, marks its seal in the short term to tell us if there are chances that we end up happy and eating partridges, or if it stays in an unwanted one again it will be.
Starting a conversation with ideas of flirting is an art in itself. It will depend largely on the context, the person in front of us, and our own emotional state.
During this article we will build a guide or model that will give us creative ideas to start an attractive conversation. In this way, we will see examples and phrases on how to start a conversation in different environments both day and night. Thus we will always have an orientation to overcome one of the worst fears in seduction: the fear of openness.
- 1 How to start a conversation to seduce and fall in love
- 1.1 Observation: Guide yourself with intuition
- 1.2 Trivial talk: Use the circumstances
- 1.3 Qualification: Start a conversation by praising
- 1.4 Emotional connection: Communicating what makes us feel
- 1.5 Sexualizing: Start generating sexual tension
- 2 How to start a party conversation
- 3 Wake up beauty: Creativity in the art of love
- 4 We live in poetry: Poems and thoughts in prose
- 5 How to start a conversation during the day
- 6 4 Tips to overcome the fear of starting a conversation
How to start a conversation to seduce and fall in love
In other articles we have talked about the AIDA Seductive Communication model created by a server. Let's do a brief review, because we will also use it to start conversations.
How can you see in the image, the model is composed of 5 components.
Comment: Be guided with intuition
Observation is what guides us on how to proceed in each moment. This model is not a step by step method. It is we with our own intelligence who decide what to do and what to say in each moment. We follow our own style according to our personality. But more importantly, what we do responds to the needs and interests of our own interaction, our own, and the person we want to seduce.
Trivial Talk: Use the circumstances
The trivial talk is communication without emotions. It differs from the rest of the components in that It does not cover any specific emotional need or motivation. It is only the basis of communication. From it we will generate emotions.
Example start phrases:
"Hello girls." You see, tonight my friend and I have left alone and after telling us about our last battalions, we have thought that we would like to meet people. And how you have seemed to us people. Here we are. I am David.
"With those shoes you have to be careful with you." Not even the interior minister gets rid of a good stomp if he passes from the grater.
The absence of covering needs such as support, understanding, or sex, which as we will see if they cover the following components, does not make the trivial talk less important. Well, this is the basis that covers a basic need: to entertain. Being necessary for it develop a sense of humor among other social skills that we will mention later.
"If I got to know that dressed like that you weren't going to look at me all night, almost that I'd put something else on," I tease, starting the conversation with a blonde girl with beautiful big eyes.
-Haha! Man you don't go badly dressed.
"Passionate about fashion like me?"
"Well, like all women." It is impossible that we do not like the art of clothing.
-Haha! I assure you that I have seen everything. However in your case I believe you 100%. Surely elegance is not stolen from you or a bank robber of those of the western movies.
—According to the moment, I really like to dress more casual and even rocker…
—Well, as a loyal rock lover, I can assure you that I would love to see that smile so sweet you have with a good cane look. The constaste has to be quite exciting - I insinuate gracefully by taking a quick look at her body while she blushes.
"I don't think you like rock, which is your favorite group?"
Qualification: Start a conversation by praising
When we talk about starting a qualification conversation we mean to praise to that person we like for something that has caught our attention. Although we can use this even to start conversations with groups, such as saying: «I love the complicity you transmit. You are five and I am almost sure that just by looking at you you already know what you are thinking. Especially you and you. »
The key to how it works successfully is to have been able to observe and properly identify some quality or feature that really attracts attention and embarks on communicating it without thinking twice. Being able to enter this way generate a great emotional impact if we manage to value something that the other person considers special about herself or that they have never told her. Being the empathy perhaps the most important skill in seduction issues to improve that observation than wings to our intuition.
"This is full of envious girls, lesbians, or girls who want to copy you." Have you noticed? "I tell the girl next to me catching her a little unexpectedly."
"No, I don't know very well what you mean."
"Basically, I mean you're the center of their eyes." Although I understand them perfectly. Tonight you look like the goddess Aphrodite reincarnated.
"Hahaha, how exaggerated." It's not that bad either - he says with a pleasant smile.
-I think so. Although the goddess Aphrodite was colder. You inspire me much more sweetly even though you have similar styles — we both laugh.
"Did you meet the goddess Aphrodite?" - she asks entering the game while it continues laughing to me the jokes.
-Not in person. I only imagined it, but I think you have surpassed my own imagination. Which either says a lot about you, or little about my imagination.
"Mmmm, I don't know what to tell you." Imagination to come talk to me has not been missing.
"Believe me, I'm not lacking either while I'm talking to you and I see that glow in your eyes so attractive."
-Oh yeah? And what are you imagining?
"Nothing that an Aphrodite goddess like you is not used to generating in a boy, I suppose." Maybe I'll tell you later, for now give me two kisses that you already play. I'm David!
Praise is one of the most used ways to start a conversation and our interest is almost taken for granted. We liked something about that person and that's why we went to talk to her, because it attracts us. This in itself has nothing wrong. We are direct, we say what we like and want, and we go for it.
However, we can make the mistake of praising too much or with conventions and thus fall into flattery. It’s important to be creative and precise, or the other person may think that we are giving her ears just because we want to seduce her and not because she really feels special next to us. Or worse, you may think that you have fully earned our interest. What would make the attraction plummet.
To avoid that mistake, we must be open to truly knowing the other person, and only Praise when truly justified. Showing in turn demanding and safe. We are there to meet. To know if we can like each other, but that we like a couple of things, does not mean that we are willing to go with her to a glass palace and have 4 wonderful children as soon as possible. Not even that we are going to have sex. We have to seduce ourselves. Both!
"I love the way you look." That intensity and depth. It is as if your eyes dragged me.
"Surely you tell that to everyone."
-Haha! Well, maybe not as many times as you could say that phrase. A conventional girl? I ask with a little humor giving the game more intense airs.
"You would like to find out."
-That's why I'm here. To see if we can like each other with our conventions and with our unique things. We marry or become the worst enemies in the world. Anything is possible - especially while I laugh.
"I don't think making enemies is a good idea."
"No, I agree that it is not the best plan for a Saturday night." However, a good enemy always motivates one to overcome oneself. Look at the superhero movies.
- What are those of those who like to overcome and see the positive side of everything?
—Well, of course, if I manage to connect with you, I can overcome myself. Because we are going, you are not making it easy for me - I angrily imply as we both laugh.
The bases are planted. There is interest, but mixed with humor and detachment. The other person goes from thinking that we are flattering, that we are flirting together. We are there mainly to have fun.
Emotional connection: Communicating what makes us feel
Emotional or romantic communication seeks to generate links with the other person. Something like finding evidence in the universe that tells us that we were predestined to meet. A style that can be very useful to start a conversation when you first enter, we already perceive a high interest of the other person. That is, if there are certain eyes already between the two and you are a little nervous.
"Hi, I'm a little nervous." But if I didn't come to try to meet you, I'm sure I would regret the rest of my life. Well, or the rest of my life or at least for sure tonight.
"Don't worry, I've already seen you looking at me."
"Yes, I had you a little guarded." But I don't know, it's been seeing you and feeling like the rest of the world was fading away. It may sound somewhat cheesy, but I have felt that way. What is your name?
The great attraction of this way of starting the conversation lies in honesty. En not to hide our intentions and to show ourselves as we feel at that moment. It is the way of opening that less hard rejections entails. It's hard to fuck someone who opens up to us and shows his intentions nobly.
Starting the conversation in this way only works when it is done in a genuine and honest way. If we tell him that we are nervous when we really have confidence in the clouds or have seen us talk to two or three girls before, he will not strain. Reversing the effect we wanted to produce and guaranteeing a rejection difficult to resolve.
Sexualizing: Start generating sexual tension
By sexualization we start to communicate sex with our gestures and words. When we start a conversation we sexualize especially with our nonverbal language. With small insinuations that sound like sex, prolonged silences and leisurely communication. Although the repertoire can be much broader.
"Is it possible that you know how attractive you are to me right now?" I say to her ear as I gently take her from her waist.
—Well! What a throw you come! Do not cut your hair.
"I recognize that I am guilty," I whisper as I keep looking at her carefully. Since I have seen you, what I have least wanted is to cut my hair. I need them all to try to seduce you.
"Mmmm, you're going to have a hard time with me," he says timidly without taking his eyes off me.
"It's a shame, because the truth is that it's looking at your lips and I don't know why, but I get quite impatient."
Do you want another example? Check out my erotic story:
Seduction, rock and few words
How to start a party conversation
The disco is the most demanding environment in terms of creativity. And I don't mean just have lip, but how we behave. Sometimes saying little we seduce much more, especially when we sexualize or create a night romance. Although not only in discos, also in all kinds of parties where flirting can be habitual.
This is because in some way, There is a carte blanche to seduce yourself. The boys come to talk to the girls to try to meet them; and fortunately today, they also do it more and more frequently.
This implies that when flirting in a disco we face a competition and greater stimuli received. In other words, there are many immediate alternatives and things that distract us.
You may start a conversation with a woman who has been looking at another man for about 10 minutes. This means that the chances of rejection are far superior to those of other places and that we should learn to how to manage a rejection to try to reverse them when they occur.
That's why starting an attractive conversation in a disco is so important. You can have a boyfriend, unless he sings a rooster, or invent all kinds of different excuses. Being even more important that this does not stop us and that when a person really likes us, let's go for them all.
Phrases to start a conversation in a nightclubs
To understand the previous model when starting a conversation, let's now look at several long sentences as examples. Notice that the components of the model go together, which means that we can press several at the same time in the same sentence or spinning set of them. The only difference will be the percentage of weight that each one can have (to understand us).
This is because the application of the components of qualification, emotional connection and sexual tension, They are assessed through the emotional needs they cover:
- Qualification: Support, appreciation, etc.
- Emotional connection: Understanding, romantic, acceptance, etc.
- Sexualization: game, sex, etc.
In this way and having this model clear, You yourself will be able to create your own improvised phrases and on the track. That is, without trying to remember anything you have studied and in a completely natural way.
"Sorry, but I've been watching you and I really wanted to come to meet you." You transmit a lot of joy and good vibes. (Start the conversation qualifying and emotionally connected)
"Looking at me that way has its consequences, don't you think?" Well, for starters I will introduce myself. I'm David, and you? (Start the conversation sexualizing)
"I'm very interested in knowing why that smile of yours makes me feel so brave." Although I have to admit that from your lips I would also like to know absolutely everything. What is your name? (Start the conversation by qualifying and sexualizing)
"Excuse me, but I have a question to ask you and that only you can answer me." If you were a boy and saw yourself with that sweet face? What would you do? You would try to talk to you right? What is your name? (Start the conversation with emotional connection and qualification)
"They should kick you out of the disco, you don't know?" You won't let me concentrate. I came with ideas of having a drink and talking with my friends for a while. But it has been seeing you dance and silence me for the rest of the planet. Except with you of course. (Start the conversation with emotional connection, sexualization and qualification)
How to use the examples and create your own ingenious phrases
Keep in mind that in these examples I am putting long sentences. The goal is not to have a phrase to spit, but understand the message we want to convey, which will sometimes be longer and sometimes shorter.
In reality, the other person will answer you or there may be interruptions. But you you must think not of the exact first sentence you say, but what you want to say during the first moments or minutes. In the orientation you will give. Of course, how you say it will greatly influence. I mean, if you know how to use your nonverbal language to seduce.
Therefore, you should take the examples as inspiration, and then let yourself be carried away by your own creativity. Stay with the obvious idea in them and at the moment of truth allow yourself to flow naturally. Do not try to use your memory. Just watch and let yourself go. This is how you will build your own phrases at the same time you need them.
How to start a conversation during the day
In recent years some boys have started dating in full sun. Starting conversations on the street, in a park, in shops, on the beach, shopping centers, on public transport etc. This phenomenon has been baptized as Daygame (day game).
The main problem of flirting during the day is that We can interrupt the march of the other person and find many with a partner. In the discos or bars we are in our leisure time and many single people come. That is, they are more willing to talk and meet people.
Seduce during the day has its advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, We have the surprise factor. So even if we start a conversation without being too creative, a strong will be generated impact equally. Women are less accustomed to trying to flirt with them during the day. On the other hand The competition is also minor or non-existent. You are not thinking about who will be next. There are no more opportunities. What makes it more special. It seems more predestined. American film roll where they fall in love in the super.
The main drawback is that It may be weird if they think we have gone out to flirt premeditated. Although it will also depend on the city in which we are. In that case, we would have to justify the context and even persuade it that it is desirable. Perhaps something that we do not do often and that she has caused. Personally, I have always been much more than being protected under the charms of the night.
Phrases to start a conversation during the day
-Sorry. Let's see, I see you are shopping and I would not mind if you are in a hurry. But it has been to see you and come on… I have missed knowing Cupid in flesh and blood and telling him to introduce us. I know it's weird that someone tries to meet you like that. Stranger for me. But better to launch than wonder what could have been, right? (Start the conversation with trivial talk and emotional connection)
-Hi. You see, I think it's the first time I intentionally approached to talk to someone on a train. But if I keep looking at you as you read that book without getting close to trying to meet you, I think that even God would deny me entry to heaven by cagueta. Do you mind me feeling with you? I'm David. (Start a conversation with trivial talk and emotional connection. If we include a penetrating look and leisurely nonverbal language, it could also include sexualization)
"Sorry, what breed is your dog?" He is full of joy. Surely the treatment given by its owner has a lot to do with it. You inspire a lot of sweetness. (Start a conversation with emotional connection and qualification)
"Excuse me, but I've seen you sitting here alone with coffee, and I don't know if it's because of that blond mermaid hair or those deep blue eyes ... But I said to myself, if I'm not going to try to meet this girl, I still regret it even from here to have grandchildren. (Start the conversation with qualification)
In this case, the same as in the previous examples. Stay with the global framework and attitude, not with spitting out a long run phrase. In real situations the other person will intervene and our message even if it is essentially the same, will vary in a context with feedback.
4 Tips to overcome the fear of starting a conversation
Being brave we enjoy and learn more
Who do you think has more social value and for himself? A person who faces his fears and goes to talk to the girl he likes to try to meet her, or someone who stands still thinking about what could happen if he did?
Putting ourselves in the worst, if that person rejects you, how would you feel?
- How would you feel after doing what you really wanted to do and failed.
- How would you feel if you hadn't done anything.
Stop for a moment and experience each of these two situations. Try to feel them. Imagine them in detail.
I don't know about you ... but I feel much worse when I feel that out of fear I have not done something that I want to do and I allow myself to be overcome. When we get carried away by fear it is hard not to feel frustrated, failed or manipulatedWell, we are not initiating a conversation with someone when it is what we most desire.
Recognize it, even if they criticize them, the brave ones are more cool
Much of our current successes are the result of learning gained in past failures. If you are not willing to make mistakes, forget about getting it right. There is no pleasure without pain! Or as the Americans say: there is no victory without sacrifice.
Thank each failure, because each failure brings you learning that brings you closer to success.
Already but my friends can laugh at me ...
Let me tell you that your friends have the same fear as you. It will make them envious that you have the courage to take a step that they cannot. Triumphs or failures, mock later or not.
We are always envious of those who have the courage to do what it costs us so much, that's why we often criticize it. Forget what others think and do what you want to do and that allows you to grow and live experiences.
Friends: Hahaha, what a cut that aunt got you
You: Hahaha, yes. But that's life, who doesn't risk doesn't win. I want to see you next time! That much talk but naaaaa hahaha.
They can only harm what we allow to be harmed. If they mess with you, take it with humor. Whoever takes things with humor without falling into the ego and in reactive responses, demonstrates intelligence and high self-confidence. Laugh at rejection and you will stop being a slave to his influence.
They reject us all.
Accept it and enjoy!
I have met many "gurus" of the world of seduction. Some of them sell their techniques and workshops as if they were magic pills that will make you seduce any woman even being ugly, silly, lazy or even smelling bad.
Pussies aside, it is a total and absolute lie. Because, surprise surprise: they are also rejected. To all. Me too. And it is something absolutely obvious.
You can not like everyone or everyone is willing to meet someone as attractive as it is. Knowing how to seduce you guarantee you can like a lot of girls (or boys). Make good friends and be someone with great social success. But being immune to rejection? You yourself know that it is impossible. And if it's impossible, why go around so many times? Isn't it more worth accepting and launching to enjoy?
One of my best memories seducing I have a rejection. In fact, I had a great time with some rejections, but with this I got off the hook:
—Hello girls !! Why do we provide? I said breaking through in a group of girls who were raising their shots to toast.
—Why you go!
That is what one of them answered me in a Murcian tone, coarse, coarse, and more than an edge: because you leave. And at this moment my friend and I started laughing.
As I heard once say to Zan Perrion, one of the greatest experts in natural seduction in the United States: I have many very funny rejections. Do you want me to tell you some?
That's the attitude!
Learn to manage these rejections as if they were a communication game, and they will lose their psychological weight and you can take advantage of them to end up liking them more. Take a look at these articles: How to respond to a rejection with a sense of humor / How to respond to a rejection by sexualizing.
To play the guitar you learn by playing the guitar. They say that painting is learned by painting. And as they told me the other day, football players are because they have always played football since childhood.
How do you learn to start conversations? You already know it. Doing it. And the rest of the remains that will come later will learn to solve them by facing them. Because let's be frank. The practice is the most important. Not because the theory and what others teach us is not. But because with practice it is how the theory is understood.
What I teach you in this and other articles will be in your memory when you see it in your real life. You will naturalize it when you practice it again and again. Then you will really understand, not before. Therefore, my advice is to keep learning. Yes! Keep studying. But while you practice. Both things must go together.
Escape the taboos. You cannot live with the rope around the neck of what they will say. Escape those cemeteries. It is now the moment in which the flashes occur, the reflections that show you there is to discover in you. Escape the conditions that make you a social slave. There is always much more to those flashes. Be the child you were again. Look again with the eyes of the new under the mystery of the beautiful.
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