Social judgments: Why do they judge me and believe that I am like that?

We all have our own brand. An identity that represents us and that we believe about ourselves before our eyes, and a unique identity that each person in turn forms of us. How are these identities formed? Why do you think we are as you think?

The great power of associations

And how they form our identity

What defines us is generated through associations that we are doing as if they were mind maps. That is, how the branches of an old millenary tree. These branches they contain as many our virtues as our defects, and each of them makes others value and judge us in a certain way, also depending on their intrinsic characteristics and current emotions.

Have you ever asked someone how they would define you? Have you asked him what feature of you is the first that comes to mind?

Maybe a colleague can tell us that the first thing that comes to mind when seeing us is fun. That is, he perceives us as someone fun and pleasant to hang out with. Meanwhile, another closest friend could tell us trust and complicity, since for him we would be a trustworthy person in whom support can be sought. However, surely this second friend also perceives us as someone fun if we are, only that for him trust would be a stronger association with us.

In this way the branches of the tree are growing and forming the image we have of ourselves and others. An exercise in self-knowledge would be to develop our own tree and mental map of associations based on virtues and defects.


In others, our actions and the feelings we transmit form these associations. If a person fails us at a given time, we can justify it. Perhaps circumstances have not allowed him to live up to it. But if he fails us repeatedly, we create an association: I can't trust this guy.

Rational and emotional perception

What are we for that particular person?

That personal brand that we all have is constantly developing and changing, influencing the perceptions that others have us.

Then our acts are no longer perceived in a purely rational and present way, but instead go through a perceptual filter configured through past experiences and sensations. That is, They judge our actions according to the associations they have formed about us.

But we go further. The mind needs to shorten the path to find quick answers to any stimulus. Our brain always seeks maximum efficiency. Thus, instead of reflecting one by one in the various associations that may have been general, it simply keeps the most relevant and categorizes them, thus forming personal judgments, and going on to interpret any reality through these past judgments.

For example: if someone categorizes us as selfish people who only seek their own interest, even the most noble act of solidarity will be considered a search for self-interest, generating thoughts such as: something he will get in return, he will surely ask me to return the please, just done it to feel good about yourself, etc.

Judgment, valuation, pretense, are not empty experiences that consciousness has, but experiences composed of an intentional current.

Edmund Husserl

We must not forget that with each person we deal with we are generating different associations, so they will give a different opinion about us according to what we have projected to them and they themselves have perceived. In the end, you can smile at two people equally and one think you are a trustworthy uncle, and the other you want to take advantage of her. Each person's emotional state and past experiences influence their own perception of us, regardless of what we project.

Analyze social relationships

The usefulness of reviewing the associations that we have (and have) generated

Why is it important to understand this? Simply by conscience. If we are aware of this reality, we can better analyze our social relationships, reflecting on the associations that others have created of us and taking action through communication to correct the negatives or achieve greater understanding and understanding.

I distrust incommunicability; It is the source of all violence

Jean Paul Sartre

If, for example, at one point we had a clash with someone, and subsequently we have not fixed that mess, that resentment provoked in a specific situation may be the seed of an unsuccessful current social relationship. The sad thing is that sometimes, as long as that objection remains latent, no matter how much we do, we are perceived negatively. Review our social relationship with some people and correct the past Through communication using empathy and assertiveness can be a great way of acting.

Also to anticipate possible misjudgments that are repeated to us, or to reflect on how we have categorized other people and if we are really judging them correctly.

In any case, Monitor and reflect periodically what you transmit as you are associating. Especially in the people you meet and have an interest in maintaining a lasting relationship, and in those who do not want to lose or want to recover. Often a positive and empathetic attitude is the best letter of introduction to generate good associations and that others treat us with love and respect, and maintain it, is the seed that grows the fruit of many good friendships.

A related article that you cannot miss:
Emotional myopia: No one is what it seems

brave jungle

#wearebrave #alwaysbeatyourself

Set aside your pride, observe your emotions from the outside and communicate generating positive emotions present that design great future moments. No matter who is right, what matters is the end result of the communication.

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