What is acceptance?
Acceptance is the ability that people have to appreciate and value us positively as we are in the present moment. Hence it is a fundamental pillar for improve self-esteem. Although its practice is not limited to the acceptance of oneself. It is also practiced externally, accepting the circumstances that surround us and learning to value them in a positive way as they are and come as they come ...
Many suggest that the center of psychological problems is the ego. This being our main enemy in the face of practicing self-acceptance. However, the key is not so much in trying to eradicate the ego (the identification with what we think we are), a very unlikely thing, but in educating and learning to manage it.
- 1 Accept yourself
- 2 Become immune to attacks
- 3 Do you remember Albert Einstein?
- 4 Wake up beauty: Creativity in the art of love
- 5 We live in poetry: Poems and thoughts in prose
- 6 Free yourself from the walls
- 7 A conversation about acceptance
The fundamental pillar to avoid self-sabotage
Together with passion and enthusiasm, the ego is one of the greatest drivers of self-improvement. It is what motivates us to want to be more and better than we already are.
However, However, the highest cost was for the planet. Only one of these wee wee pads takes approximately XNUMX years to decompose. Putting ourselves in the best of cases, a dog uses XNUMX pad daily for only XNUMX years of his life, so when he is a puppy and when he is elder he would use XNUMX soakers in total. If we take into account that only in Spain there are XNUMX million dogs, mostly of mini race, with greater tendency to use wee wee pads and assuming that at least XNUMX% use them, we are talking about a figure of XNUMX wee wee pads that are used daily. Tons and tons of waste are thrown daily to the planet so that our dog does not spoil our house. Without the practice of acceptance, it becomes completely uncontrollable and destructive. Being acceptance that allows us to control it without attacking our self-esteem. Favoring this so that we can change what we don't like without the weight of self-sabotage.
Everyday problems have the weight that we want to give them. Thus a person who does not accept, before an insult, rejection or provocation of any kind, will make his anger jump through the ego. While one that does practice acceptance will not get involved with that provocative stimulus.
In other words, accepting ourselves causes judgments to lose weight on our psyche. Being less inclined to waste time reproaching our failures or affecting us the negative opinions that others may have of us.
Become immune to attacks
Channel your emotions and reactions with intelligence
Imagine now that we are going out of league on a magical summer night and after approaching a girl, she welcomes us with ironic pleasure (that is, like a douchebag, but wit):
–I'm sorry, but I don't want to meet bored boys and you look bored at 5 kilometers around.
- Look, the doctor told me the same when I was born. In fact, the funny thing about all this is that they put it on the birth certificate. How can they be such bastards? Also in large and capital letters: FACE OF BORED. I think that's why I hate hospitals ...
- Hahahaha, if I have a good eye! Although hey, I hate hospitals too
–Well, I made you a sexy nurse, as appearances deceive ...
In this way and thanks to acceptance, we managed not to "get into the rag" thus avoiding a possible conflict. Being able to stand out in an attractive way thanks to a sample of high self-esteem by not letting us be affected by their insult. Magical acceptance ... how many benefits it can bring.
Thanks to the acceptance you will face each situation better
Many times they ask me how to solve problems that, although in the past they made sense to me, I have long since stopped giving them importance. That does not mean that these problems stop appearing in our lives, Difficulties and complicated situations will continue to appear. The difference is that they cannot bitter our present (or at least not so much). In addition to that we will have the ability to remain calm at all times.
What if they laugh at me? What will happen if I go wrong? What if they cheat me? All these kinds of questions come from the ego, and If we learn to control it and love each other deeply, this whole whirlwind of insecure thoughts will stop attacking us. No insult, rejection or offense can harm us.
Fear dissipates because our "I" stops needing protection and external approval. Then an immense naturalness and intelligence grows in us and makes us feel completely free and prepared to navigate firmly between the challenges of life.
Do you remember Albert Einstein?
Avoid falling into the trap of comparing yourself looking for perfection
Most people have a tendency to compare themselves to others. The worst part is that instead of comparing everything positive they have, the tendency is usually oriented to compare their negative points against the positive ones that others have.
Albert Einstein had a horrible memory, so much so that he came to invent the same product twice and his wife had to remind him that this product was already in the market for a long time. It has been shown that intelligence and memory do not have to be good friends. But can you imagine Albert Einstein frustrated, bitter and jealous with someone who has a good memory?
Well, this usually happens to many people every day, who Valuing the strengths of others lose sight of their own. Or what is the same, another bucket of bleach to self-esteem without need, but not bleach from those that are now that respect the clothes do not ... of those that fade and burn.
Appreciate the beauty of the differences
The illusion about individual perfection in all its points leads us to make ridiculous comparisons. Avoid falling into this trap and observe the immense beauty that everyone can be different in features and opinions. The great beauty of diversity. The utility that we can contribute to each other being different.
Much healthier would be Learn from those strengths that others have from appreciation and admiration. Taking as a starting point the acceptance and love we can have towards ourselves. In this way the influences of others will allow us to learn and grow with confidence, passion and enthusiasm, rather than with envy and resentment.
May your happiness not depend on your achievements
On the other hand, the attitude of buying motivates people who are more fighting and focused on competitiveness, whose ego is usually strong, to overcome themselves more and more. No doubt to end up winning in the comparison. While the less fighters coexist frustrated by their feeling of inferiority.
Both positions can be loaded with envy, hatred or resentment. And although the results are different, in either case Happiness becomes dependent on the outside and enslaves our achievements to feel good. Which makes it difficult to maintain a constantly high self-esteem, because this will be a slave to the good or the bad that goes away.
Free yourself from the walls
Take away the ghosts of the past and embrace an obstacle-free growth
We can be wrong, we can make bad decisions, but if we anchor ourselves in our past mistakes, we will be faithful slaves of them. Our perceptions of current reality, of our present, will be distorted.
Your mission, vision, beliefs and values sweeten your decisions and senses when they are based on savoring the sugars of the present. When our life mission, that which gives meaning to everything we feel and do, is based on enjoying the now, a new naturalness and psychological security picks us up in his arms.
Accept that life does not understand lost times. Time is not wasted, reversed or enjoyed. The times of sadness and discouragement serve to meditate and grow, resume passions and reach new levels of consciousness to get reinforced. Dawn every day with a renewed smile and optimism, because every day something new is born in you. There is no lost time for those who try to enrich every moment of their life.
Many people have neither clear nor healthy nor flexible values, which leads to great failures, psychological distress and loss of identity. We are wrong and frustrated by saying how unfortunate we are. But it is in our mistakes that we grow the most. It is they who make us reflect and learn. Accept them. It is useless to continue being tied to the mistakes of the past and to make our day to day meaningless bitter. Get rid of that unnecessary burden. Understand them, accept them, and move on without their distortions, living fully in the present based on that acceptance and solid and thoughtful values.
A conversation about acceptance
- Hello, how are you? I really like your posts, it looks good. I have a doubt, I am very positive and I try to see things always from that perspective. But there are times and situations in which I find it hard to do it ... I try, I do it, but it costs me ... I don't know, what advice would you give me to think positively in these situations too?
- Hello Ana. Thank you! What happens to you is perfectly normal. When negative thoughts come to you, try to focus on the positive. Everything in life has a positive and a negative part. Our positivity is dependent on our perceptions. Perceptions that are different according to individuals. Just when these thoughts come try not to identify yourself too much with them, you can practice meditating, concentrating your center in another part than your mind and observing those negative thoughts from outside. In any case, meditate or not, focus on the positive side of things and try to transform the negative into positive. Throughout this attitude, negative thoughts happen less and less frequently.
-Thank you! Yes, I am trying to meditate, and I always see the positive but there are situations that cost me ... Although I end up achieving it but it costs me and that causes me discomfort and being down ...
- It's very good Ana that you have that desire for personal development and progress in what you want. But life always presents us with challenges, and a perfect life is boring. Accept and celebrate that we always have new challenges to overcome, and don't get frustrated because you don't always get exactly what you want or how you want it, or even when… haha. Happiness depends a lot on those perceptions that I tell you. If you perceive that you are wrong, you may really be better than 99% of the world's population. But you will feel what you perceive.
–Pffff…. Hahaha, it's hard for me to control my emotions and not be able to dominate ... Especially the negatives. That when they are positive I look like a crazy goat very happy and happy ... But when the negatives come in, they unbalance me ... I don't know. I do not like. I try to eliminate them and I can't ... And hence I get frustrated ...
–Negative emotions cannot be eliminated, they can simply be refocused, prevented, or managed. The idea is to manage them better. Knowledge also helps a lot by increasing your awareness. The self-control of emotions is educated, but observing and advising yourself, trying not to identify with that negative. But do not try to eliminate them because of course, it is very unlikely that you will get it, because they are energy and energy can be modified, but not destroyed, and then you will be frustrated to see that you do not advance. Even that obsession to eliminate them can cause the adverse effect, increase them, given that you grant more space in your thoughts.
- And how do I manage them? What is the best way? I talk a lot with myself and if for example something worries me and makes me anxious I think and ask myself, see, what gives you anxiety? Where does that feeling come from? and once I identify it I wonder, does it have a solution? which? But of course, then there are other feelings like fear or frustration that cost me more ... I want to learn to master those negative feelings, not to let my thoughts dominate over me. I study psychology, so I try for what I know and for what I have read in articles and such, but it is very easy to say and at the time of doing it it is very complicated ...
–And you say it hahaha. The theory is very good but the practice is another song. Emotional management is very, very complicated. Only with time it is possible to reach a certain level of dominance. It costs me less and less, but for me there is something very important that I think is what you are missing. And it is acceptance. Without acceptance it is impossible not to get frustrated. Accept positively and in a way that motivates you to improve, but do not force yourself to demand or there will always be something that frustrates you, because human beings are always looking for new challenges and needs vary. Start practicing overcoming from acceptance.
–Accept what is happening to me? Accept that fear or that anxiety? And how? Telling me, I accept that I feel this way ... and now what? Do I let the feeling live with me until he leaves? That is what I find difficult to understand ... How to accept.
–Accept through understanding. I understand what happens to me, I understand it, and I accept it. For example, tell yourself: feeling anxious about what just happened to me is perfectly normal. Nothing happens. I will see how I can learn from this situation to get the most out of this experience. You simply accept it and understand it. With that you modify your perception. You no longer perceive it as having something wrong with you and having a problem, but as being something normal and part of life. From there if you see that you can improve something in some way, you do it! But since that acceptance. I don't know if you understand me well haha. It is somewhat complicated to explain. When you feel it and live it, you will understand.
- That is, when I get anxious, for example, I feel and think: to see this is something normal, what can I learn? The feeling is because I must learn something ... No? That is, instead of thinking about overcoming it or controlling it, do I think about what I can learn from it? How complicated it is ... but I will do it hahaha
- Hahaha, there may be something to learn or there may not be. Acceptance helps us not to be making our lives bitter, basically hahaha. Then we can use the positive points presented by bad experiences to help us in that acceptance or to grow.
- What if there is nothing to learn what you do? How do you approach it?
- If there is nothing to learn or anything good to get, then nothing, you accept it and something else. It is no use anchoring in a negative emotion without solution. If not, we would be living in the past and tying ourselves to unnecessary bitterness.
–Ummm. I love this ... Hahaha, and it looks like it's very complicated ... Look I'm optimistic and I accept bad times, right? But sometimes it costs ... Hehehe Thank you!
- Hahaha, personal development is always fraught with challenges, but only that makes me grow more ...
Whatever happens, accept and love yourself. Those are your best cards to face any challenge. They are also to squeeze every moment with passion. Avoid the boredom of perfection, and see how far you can go from love to where you already are.