Self-esteem is an evaluative perception we make about ourselves. That is, the more we value ourselves, the more that feeling of appreciation and personal worth will grow.
How can we improve our self-esteem? Simply influencing the factors that most affect it. But, can everyone improve their self-esteem in the same way? Obviously not. Well, not all people value the same things the same, nor do we have the same needs. That is why it is important to distinguish the factors that make us different.
- 1 7 Factors to improve self-esteem
- 1.1 Perceptions
- 1.2 Wake up beauty: Creativity in the art of love
- 1.3 We live in poetry: Poems and thoughts in prose
- 1.4 Conditioning
- 1.5 Needs
- 1.6 Motivations
- 1.7 Attitudes
- 1.8 Skills
- 1.9 Habits
7 Factors to improve self-esteem
In this article we will distinguish 7 factors that affect our self-esteem with specific advice in each of them that help us improve it.
The important thing is that Let's understand how we evaluate ourselves through these 7 factors. We must keep them well in our head y to resort to them every time we see our self-esteem wobble, because it is never constant. It is always on the move.
In this way this article will be the basis so that as of today, you yourself will be the one who always finds a way to increase your self-esteem and that of those around you.
Our perceptions directly determine our way of evaluating ourselves through a subjective reality (as we understand it) that may be more or less distorted (with respect to a completely objective reality).
For example, two people can give a lot of importance to what others think of it. Before a whisper, one of them may think that they are not talking about him, or even that if they are doing so they will be doing it positively. However, the other may think that they are criticizing him.
Given these two examples, the stimulus is the same. A whisper that we don't hear. It is impossible to be objective. However, the interpretation, despite being imaginative, is the opposite.
More on how perceptions work in:
Understand me, my perceptions are different
Value your opinion more than the external
In the previous example, a person of high self-esteem will think either that they are not talking about it, or that they are talking well. But even if they were talking about her negatively, she wouldn't give it much importance either.
This is due to the fact that individuals who show high doses of self-esteem tend to be evaluated more through the opinion of themselves with respect to their own behaviors, than through the opinion or feelings that others communicate to them. Hence, that is the first step to have a strong self-esteem, gain independence from abroad.
Accept, not dramatices
Many times things happen to us that we don't want to be perfectly normal. By not understanding them, the mind begins to think that there is something in us that is wrong. That is, through our thoughts we begin to judge ourselves negatively. In this way we can experience toxic emotions such as guilt, anxiety or shame. Simply for not being realistic and aware enough.
Through empathy we must understand and accept ourselves as we are. There will always be something we can change and improve, but without acceptance we will fall more into self-sabotage than in overcoming. Therefore to improve self-esteem it is vital to accept yourself as you are without judging yourself harshly. Later we will see how to complement it to make it more credible for our mind.
Find out more at:
How to accept, accept and boost your self-esteem
It's not about trying to think positive
Perceptions shape our reality. He who looks with fear and hatred of others will always find a reason to feel weak. He who looks with eyes of beauty will always find her with many barriers that are ahead.
But no, looking for beauty in any corner is not trying to be positive. Forcing oneself to think positive when neither one believes what they are thinking does not contribute anything. Saying positive affirmations in front of the mirror waiting for them to penetrate our subconscious is useless. What is not believed, can not be implemented no matter how much we repeat them. It needs changes and tangible arguments, just by affirming it does not enter the subconscious. Those of us who do hypnosis as a therapeutic form are quite aware of this reality.
In fact, Canadian psychologists WQ Elaine Perunovic, Joanne V. Wood and John W. Lee. They showed that insecure people going through difficult times make them feel more helpless (You can see the article in MuyInteresante.es).
This was also demonstrated by Cacioppo in this study: Negative Information Weighs More Heavily on the Brain: The Negativity Bias in Evaluative Categorizations.
It's about looking for beauty
To improve our self-esteem and confidence we need real arguments. Some arguments that we can only change if we change the way we look and understand the stimuli. It is not about thinking positive, but about seeing the positive side of things even if the negative side is greater. To build a series of philosophical beliefs that encourage delight in the positive, and learning in the negative.
If for example you judge someone and make him feel bad and that person sends you to hell, you have two paths. One is to consume yourself in guilt and become withdrawn, creating emotions such as fear and shame that prevent you from speaking freely. The other is to see the beauty of your mistakes. To think in a brave and responsible way: «I have discovered that sometimes he was able to judge others and that is why they can deserve me deservedly. I will do everything possible so that it does not happen again without stopping being free to say what I think.
In the second way, not only do you not harm your self-esteem, but you improve your confidence and motivation. You plant a new seed in you. You focus on the beauty of assuming your mistakes. Perhaps in the beauty of asking for forgiveness and thanking the other person internally for helping you discover something you were doing wrong. Thank you! I appreciate you sending me the shit! Thank you for giving me a new goal that can excite you, such as cultivating your ability to communicate assertively.
That is to focus on beauty. That is the positivism that is worth it, the one that moves you to do something that justifies the strengthening of your self-esteem.
If you are interested in being more assertive, discover how easy it is in this article:
Assertive communication: Guide with examples to be more assertive
You are not the center of the universe
I'm sorry to be the one to tell you, but you're not as important as you think. Most people are insecure precisely because of that. They think that the rest of the planet can be talking about them at any time: "I'm sure Sonia and Maria are giving birth to me." People who think that making a fool of themselves is as important to them as it is to others: «they will see that I am nervous in this exhibition and surely they all laugh at me». And so, thousands of nonsense. As if the rest did not commit similar stupidity or we had never become nervous.
Worst of all is that even when our most feared omens are fulfilled, we continue to give it too much importance. A boy who meets another who at school laughed at him, will remember perfectly those feelings of anguish and ridicule that the other caused him. But he who laughed at that boy, laughed at that boy and 100 more, and he doesn't remember laughing at anyone!
Identify less with your "I" to improve self-esteem
Throughout life we can create too many traumas for being too identified with our "I". With our ego That is, with our identity.
How many people still suffer today because of what happened to them in school many years ago? We see it on television every day. And is that While we give much importance to what others have told us or done, the reality is that these other people are aware of their own problems. They are aware of what others have said or done to them, and they have long since forgotten you. In fact, maybe they forgot it within a few seconds of doing it.
Meditate on this reality, and start freeing yourself from all those steel blocks that you drag since you were a child, and automatically your self-esteem will skyrocket.
Of all this, we will talk more in the following factor.
In the spiritual world much is preached that we have to be free from our conditioning. As Nick Nolte tells Scott Mechlowicz in the famous movie The peaceful Warrior: «Take out the trash Dan. Garbage is everything that distracts you from the only thing that really matters. This moment. Here now".
The insecure person is a negatively conditioned person. It is not herself. It can't be herself. Your mind is too full of past and future. Your past experiences, your current emotions, the opinions of others, your negative thoughts of what will happen if you do x, etc. Your mind does not stop working in the wrong direction.
That is why trying to think positive does not work, because you try to repress some conditioning and beliefs that are still there. They are still valid. And do not express them counterproductive. You have to take them out and face them with courage. Find healthy ways to express what we feel and release it.
Free yourself from your past
I had a student who was bullied at school. Other boys mistreated him, and even after thirty years of age, he was still hooked on that trauma. Another student I had had been raped, his parents blamed him for it, and even more than 20 years later he was still hooked on his problem. Both went to therapy with psychologists and had found no solution.
But the solution was not to give more and more turns to their problems on what had happened to them and on what repercussions it was causing them today. The solution was to let the trauma go, not to go around and around. And for that there is only one medicine, meditation.
The student who had been bullied told him to imagine that I was one of those boys who had hurt him. The worst of all! Let him talk to me. Tell me what I would say to them. To that I replied: «Uncle, I am very sorry. It's normal for you to be affected and I'm glad you told me. I apologize. He was a little cocoon as a kid, I recognize him. He was just an unconscious child and I am very sorry that you could suffer because of me.
Sorry Sorry sorry
If we do not get used to forgive sincerely, we will always have problems. To those of us who like the Game of Thrones series, we see how the seasons happen because of more battles than some win, new enemies generated from previous battles are emerging. And so it is in life itself.
That boy who was bullied continued to drag that problem because he felt hate towards the boys who mistreated him. There is the basic emotion. Who is full of hate cannot love, and who cannot love is always afraid. Fear is the opposite side of love. Love empowers you, makes you brave. It makes you forget everything and immerse yourself completely in the present. Fear is the opposite, it retracts you, it makes you calculate everything. It paralyzes you!
Start becoming braver every day with:
Overcome your fears and insecurities: Strengthen yourself with your energy!
It's about healing your self-esteem
To heal your self-esteem, you must forgive yourself and others. Your defects of the past, and your defects of the future. Forgive yourself in advance, because to err what it is to err, you will err. For that you just have to be alive. Only the dead are exempt from making new mistakes. So start forgiving.
Use empathy. Put yourself in the place of others that made you feel bad. Relive the scene as if you were him now, I've tried to understand what he did. You probably did something similar yourself at some point in your life. Do not hate others, you also screwed up and behaved badly with others. Use forgiveness to release blame, to sign peace treaties, and you will be improving your self-esteem much faster than adopting new skills.
In addition to this, there will be past experiences where without others being to blame, you were wrong and suffered. Reflect on these experiences with a vision of renewed improvement and let them go once and for all.
We all have a series of basic needs that we must cover. And yes, I say we should, because we can hardly escape them.
Among those needs the most related to self-esteem are social. Needs such as acceptance, worth, esteem, play, sex, achievement, etc. And yes, there are undoubtedly many more that are not social, such as self-realization. But if you think about it, people tend to value us more through what we think they think of us, than of our own opinions. That is why social will almost always influence more.
Understanding the operation of these needs by intertwining it with knowledge about emotional intelligence will help us to understand each other better and not harm our self-esteem through self-sabotage.
Understand to avoid self-sabotage
I remember a student who felt very bad because she loved her partner very much, but she was no longer sexually attracted. The monotony had shattered the passion, and now he thought about the possibility of being with other men. Even though he had never been unfaithful, just thinking about it made him guilty.
In this example, what we should understand is that all human beings have a basic need called sex. If that need is not covered, it is natural that our mind begins to look for loopholes that lead it to cover it. Come on, we are still more animals than many out there preach.
Faced with scenarios like this, simply understanding the situation will prevent us from having thoughts that again destroy our self-esteem. We will no longer think things like: «I don't know what's wrong with me. I am ungrateful. With what he loves and supports me and I think that I want sex. I'm an idiot or what happens to me ». We can face the situation by accepting ourselves and without so much stress.
If it's natural, don't judge yourself as if something in you was wrong
After understanding the hidden motives of our thoughts, we must accept when there is something wrong with us and when it is normal. Because most of the things that make our lives impossible and don't allow us to have better self-esteem are completely normal. They happen to almost everyone.
From there, once we have stopped looking for what is wrong with us to accept reality, accept our feelings and emotions, etc. Once we have accepted all our internal processes, then in a conscious way we will take the measures we deem appropriate. Well focus on better covering other needs if one of them has no remedy, or seeing how to better cover the one that is failing. The decision there will always be ours alone. The important thing is to be aware and always be prepared to face the challenges involved.
Maybe you might be interested:
Emotional frustration: Face it and grow with your energy
Avoid the expectations that destroy you
Dissatisfaction comes from a negative difference between what we expect and what we finally get. Small dissatisfactions are not worrisome, but the important ones can be a constant focus of infection that can destroy our self-esteem and burden us with frustration.
Por eso It is important to always think of realistic expectations. Neither conformist, nor defeatist, nor fanciful. In the middle point. Realistic So no matter what happens, if we get less, it will not hurt so much, and if we get more, it will be like receiving a gift on Christmas day. This way we will ensure that our self-esteem remains much more stable.
Motivation is an inner stimulation that directs us towards a goal. It leads us to start behaviors, make decisions and process information. That energy generates a feeling of being in motion, which when it implies personal achievements and we strive to achieve them, it helps us to value ourselves more.
The lack of motivation causes us discouragement and boredom, two ingredients not recommended. That is why many studies argue that doing things that motivate us improves self-esteem.
Love deeply to raise your self-esteem
Love dissolves fear. Deeply love what you want to achieve, and let yourself be carried away by enthusiasm. Always consider new goals and passions to learn.
There will be a time when you will spend more. Moments in which you do not finish trusting yourself. Moments when you doubt yourself really value what you want so much. But above all, there will be times where you will feel that energy flows from every particle of you and that you will never leave your dream. There your self-esteem will rise. Hold on to those moments and remember them when discouragement tries to sting you.
We have all thrown in the towel sometime, and we have all ended up regretting each one of those times. Because we have been created to be on the move. To be warriors.
Now is your role, and getting excited about what you want will help you write a great story. Not for the sweet flavors that will come to you, but for what you will enjoy in the process. So don't give up. Do not give up! Go on, and go on a thousand times. Thus you reach the top. Your top. The one you imagine!
Don't fear the competition
Competition is one of the reasons that discourage some and lower their self-esteem. See that others already do what they dream. But competition has always existed.
Nothing has ever been done that at first did not pose a challenge. In any area, there is always who has been down, on the first rung of the ladder, while his competition was believed to have already hit the last. But there is no last step, because things can always be done better. And no, it's not a matter of being a perfectionist, because perfectionism often makes us think too much and work too little. Do not.
It is about making things better than they do, or in a different way. Perhaps a new form that bears our own personal essence. You can never forget your own essence, because what you do that carries it will always excite you to go for more and better.
The world is always changing giving new opportunities
Do not stop before your dreams because others already do well in them. Never stop before your dreams because others are already many steps away from you. Find the wings that make you fly over those steps.
The world is always changing giving rise to new opportunities. Stay tuned to them and imagine how you would like them to materialize. Feel the illusion penetrating every part of your mind. Feel that illusion piercing each cell. Once you get going, there will be no competition that can scare you.
Dream where you want to go
Some believe in the law of attraction as a way to send signals to the universe to realize their dreams as if by magic it were. They think: "If I ask the universe very strongly, what I wish will come to me."
Others think that is a story. Maybe a great marketing to sell books and excite a few.
But leaving mysticism aside, and whether this law is true or not, of which we have no scientific certainty, there is something that is certain: Where we turn our attention is where we are going.
I remember that when I learned to ride a motorcycle at first, I thought I had to move the handlebars. As if it were the steering wheel of a car. Then I realized that the handlebars barely moved at high speeds. It was more the impulse of the body through the gaze that led me through the curves. More than your own hands.
Therefore, for me the law of attraction is true. But not because of its mystical side. Not because the universe is going to make me play the lottery if I think that it will touch me. That is naive. Everyone would have already touched! No. For me it is true from its psychological approach. For reasons of focus.
Imagining what we want makes us discover the way to achieve it. It keeps us focused and gives us ideas. It fills us with enthusiasm and makes us vibrate with its energy. And then, that energy makes us travel the path of learning that leads us to accomplish what we want to attract. Improve our security and confidence.
Therefore, its effect is justified in one way or another, dreaming makes us pursue what we dream in a way that gives us the knowledge and skills we need. That does not deprive us from going through hard times in our lives, but it is especially there, in those moments, when we have to dream the most.
Attitudes are general evaluations we have towards objects, people, ideas or actions. They have the ability to guide our thoughts (cognitive function), our feelings (affective function) and our behaviors. While there are things that add or subtract, the attitude is responsible for multiplying. It predisposes and amplifies.
Mindfulness is a state of mind in which we are so focused on what is happening here and now, that we free ourselves from everything we do not need.
Practicing mindfulness has many benefits on self-esteem. It's very simple, if you have total attention on a focus, you can't think of anything.
For example, when I started going out to exhibit in public at the university, I paid full attention to the tone of my voice. I tried to make the tone of my voice as clear and enveloping as possible. I forgot everything else. I just concentrated on pronouncing well and listening to myself. In this way, my thoughts did not cross nervous thoughts that could interrupt me and generate anxieties or blockages.
When I teach my students to talk to boys or girls that they like, I make them practice the same. That they focus on observing the other person, what they say, what they do, their gestures, their reactions. And forget everything else. Merging in the moment with total attention frees us and makes everything that destroyed our self-esteem at that precise moment does not exist.
Appreciate yourself starting to appreciate
For me the word that best defines the way of living now and being happy is: "Appreciation."
On that is based much of consciousness. In that they distinguish those who see, from those who do not see. It is a matter of knowing how to appreciate. But it is not limited to appreciating what one has. That is one of its important points, but the appreciation goes much further.
It consists of knowing how to appreciate oneself and others with their virtues and their defects. Like when we are in love with someone and even those things that might bother us, thanks to the appreciation of falling in love we find it wonderful.
With the appreciation we distinguish and value the beauties of the world, and we get to see beauty where others see nothing but waste.
Do not forget to keep this word in mind: APPRECIATION. And every time you feel sad or happiness make absence in your company, do not desperately look for the reasons without first asking: Am I knowing how to appreciate what I am, what life gives me and what I have?
With those three points of appreciation maintained over time, solid self-esteem is achieved. You reach that happiness and also those successes you crave, because your creative potential to discover and enjoy soars and you get to see instead of just looking.
Live here and now
Unhappiness is not given by dreams. The expectation gives. To think that we need to achieve what we dream to be happy, when happiness is here and now. It only depends on paying attention to the enjoyment of the road.
The perfectionism trap
Perfectionism is a focus of insecurities. You can never be satisfied. What some love, others hate. Any religion has many followers, but also many enemies. Recognize it, whatever you do, you will always be criticized.
Why keep worrying?
Do things the best you can do. Always look for ways to improve, but without falling into the trap of analysis: "to excess analysis, paralysis." Get it wrong. Give yourself permission to do so. Because nobody has ever achieved anything if they were wrong before many times.
Discover the poet's attitude
Several years ago I discovered poetry. Within my spiritual books a perfect madman, Osho defined himself sometimes, told me that poets were the saints of the new century.
Some think that poetry is sentimental. But no, poetry is the language of conscious people. It is a language of emotional understanding. Poetry has the power to take out what used to destroy you inside. To turn into beauty what you couldn't even think before.
Its effect on our wounds of the past are clear. They have a healing effect. Poetry manages to turn into love what was shame, hate, guilt, or fear. It is an attitude of absolute acceptance and passion for the enjoyment of the intensity of life in all its forms.
That is why reading poetry and seeing that other people have gone through the same thing that we went through and have managed to expose it with such passion, makes us feel more forgiven and understood getting better self-esteem. You can read some of my poems in the section: We live in poetry.
In your tears I felt that life was going away. It was goodbye. Goodbye forever. The farewell of two hearts that would never beat together again. And I felt your smile. A smile between cuts, that tripped in scenes because it was not raised where we had arrived. Now is a new day. You are no longer in my life. No one knows if we will cross again. Maybe some day. Maybe one day we will create a new empire among the rubble of the past. I wear my blue suit. I'm not mourning! I'm going for hope Well, even if only one wall looks at me, they will never see me buried.
# live in poetry #davidjungle
Having well developed skills and techniques according to which areas will help us to have more confidence in ourselves. We will value ourselves more not because of what we think, but because of what we see we are capable of doing.
If, for example, a person has a problem because they do not value him in his work, even if it is repeated that she is worth a lot that will not help. As much as you think positive if you don't find reasons in your head that justify a change, things will not change.
The study and practice of what makes us improve our skills and ways of thinking is what leads us to believe that we are changing, and therefore, being better every day, we must have ourselves in more esteem.
I don't remember any time in my life when I felt more valued and loved by myself than when I started reaping the fruits of the effort to improve my social skills.
For example, going from not being able to approach to talk to a girl, to be able to do it. Not knowing what to talk about, to be fun and talkative to like. This gave me great highs of self-worth.
This is something that was not limited to my personal relationships. I also began to get along better with my university professors, with whom I earned their friendship and appreciation. Then, in the jobs I was having later, I was also encouraged. Good for the good deal with customers or the good vibes that I transmitted in my colleagues.
My social skills have always been a pillar to feel safe and confident that I could overcome anything. And we remember that how we think that others value us is what most determines how high our self-esteem is. If we improve the way we interact with others, automatically and in each conversation we can appreciate it.
How to connect with people to like them
Then I will recommend a few articles that can help you improve your social skills in a natural and permanent way. Without circumstantial tricks or technique. Really improving the emotions and feelings that you are capable of generating.
In them you will find many examples like this:
You remind me a lot of me as a child. I was always smiling, like you. Now with so much work and stress it seems that I have lost that joy a bit. But well, seeing you I am already beginning to remember her. If we add to that how sexy you have come tonight, if I don't smile like a fool, come on, let the gods come to pick me up that I don't paint anything here anymore.
This way you will get inspired so that you have the confidence to take action as soon as possible. In addition, following the other tips in this article, I assure you that you will have everything you need to know to not only like, but to fall in love (Note: All these items are unisex):
These skills will depend on your work.
If you are still a student, learning study techniques or enhancing your cognitive abilities with exercises or Mindfulness will make you feel safer.
If you are already working on something and you don't like what you do, start learning new things that allow you to move up or change jobs. Maybe even start your own business. If none of that is possible, improve those skills that you think will make you value more in your work. Remember what Martin Lucer King said:
If a man is called to be a sweeper, he should sweep the streets even as Michelangelo painted, or as Beethoven composed music or as Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep the streets so well that all the armies of heaven and earth can stop and say: here lived a great sweeper who did his job well.
Find out more about this at:
How to motivate yourself at work: 10 techniques and tips
Finally we have what may be the most important point of all. We can carry out all the above tips. Learn them and put them into practice right now. But if we do not keep them until they become habits that are part of our lives, in the end we will return again to the starting point. Because what really makes a person change is what he does every day.
Raise self-esteem to others
Do you praise others when they do something right? Do you value their effort and dedication? Do you tell them pleasantly how well those extra pounds feel so hard for them to take off?
Support, love, respect, praise. Make them feel fun, make them feel smart, etc. Think of everything that others can do for you to feel more confident and secure. In everything that would raise your self-esteem, and don't wait for them to do it. You do it! When? When you really feel it. It's not about giving anyone's ears to anything, that's heavy. It is about making others feel good when there is a sincere reason inside us that moves us to do so. This is something very seductive. Start doing it whenever you can, and you'll see how others give it back to you. If it is not with a compliment, it will be with a wide smile.
Feeling useful for the rest if only because we manage to make their lives a little more enjoyable, it will be another simple way for us to keep our self-esteem high. We will feel more loved and valued as well. And if you can also help them with something you know more, better than better. You will be doing the same thing I did when writing this article.
Be constant and stop procrastinating
This is something that some studies clearly demonstrate, and from what I wonder: was a study really needed to know this?
I'm sorry to see people coming to me on social media with self-esteem shattered precisely for not fighting for what they want. It's simple, if you dream of getting great things and in the end you don't do what you feel you have to do to get them, every day a feeling of guilt will invade you that will destroy you inside.
There are only two ways, or try to be happy with what you have and not look for anything further, or be constant at work and stop procrastinating by doing other things that seem to please us more. For me, I have it clear. Every time I don't feel like sitting in front of this computer, I say to myself: «David, only 5 minutes. Sit down and if you see that you can't after 5 minutes you get up ». And in the end, those 5 minutes end up becoming hours well spent.
Find out more about this and be aware of:
Stop postponing things: 10 definitive tips
Meditate a little every day
To this day I think I would no longer know how to live without meditation. I am badly used. Badly used not to be going around coconut for nonsense. I am badly used to stop thinking about how to do things and when I will start doing them, and instead see myself doing them and creating the appropriate strategies on the go. Badly used to stop thinking about what others will think about me, and do and say what my conscience and naturalness really suggest to me.
The more overwhelmed I felt, the more I meditated. When I have been with the water around my neck, I have meditated and breathed again. Because all the toxic emotions that sink us are psychological. They are thoughts that flutter again and again and do not let us act intelligently. When you get rid of them, the answers come alone. You don't light a light bulb, you always keep it on. My advice, every day, between 5 and 10 minutes of meditation when you wake up, mid-afternoon and before bedtime. It's about 20 minutes a day that make a huge difference in your performance and well-being to lead to healthy self-esteem.
More benefits of meditation in:
Meditation and Mindfulness: 10 benefits in social relationships
It has been shown that physical exercise improves emotional health. Yes Yes. Not only does it make us look more handsome, which, incidentally, will also improve self-esteem. But it is beneficial for our mind and emotions.
The key is in the endorphins, known as happiness hormones, that the practice of sports releases. But not only that. Sport has benefits over our cognitive abilities and favors the increase of our energy. All that, together with healthy eating, will also help you feel much better.
Start reading more
If you have read this article carefully and enthusiastically, I am sure that you already feel better. And it is normal for this to happen, because you are doing something that you know will improve your life.
For me, reading has always been a refuge. If something went wrong, I started reading about how I could do better. When I did not understand something about my mental processes, I bought a book to understand it. If I was shy, I immediately searched Google how to overcome it and began to improve the necessary skills.
As we read we disperse our attention from our problems to words that present solutions. We began to spin new mental nodes and we began to draw new deductions that we had not seen before. Reading makes us learn, and that learning sends a message to our mind: “Now you are different. You are not the one you were before. You have changed. You have learned You are someone new. Get out to fight harder than ever!
Find the challenge and love it
Everything we ask the universe or God carries behind its walls a strong current of experiences. Experience implies challenges. It implies adapting to new situations. It is not a way of comfort. It is a way of overcoming.
Limiting thinking is one that invites us to seek comfort to avoid the difficulty of the challenge. It is the path of stagnant water that rots. But what rots in this case is our mind. You cannot ask for experiences and new things without the courage to face the challenge they entail. That is absurd.
Appreciate the experiences, although sometimes they present themselves as difficulties. Without them you would not feel your inner energy, just boredom. Learning, growing and giving the maximum of ourselves, gives meaning and love to our days. It is the enthusiasm. Whatever happens, let's get what we want or not, it's love now.
Experience is a fierce teacher, but it clearly makes you learn.
Clive Staples Lewis
Therefore, do not ask for things. Do not ask for achievements. Do not ask for love. Simply ask for experiences. Ask for the challenges that, after overcoming them, lead you to get those things, those challenges and that love. This is how every day a brave, conscious and realistic attitude will grow within you. Thus our lives have greater direction and happiness.
Find out more in my article:
Face difficulties with confidence: Love the challenge
Whatever happens, accept and love yourself. Those are your best cards to face any challenge. They are also to squeeze every moment with passion. Avoid the boredom of perfection and see how far you can go from love to where you already are.