When you receive a loving rejection they are telling you directly or implicitly that They don't want to do something you are proposing. Being able to imply sexual or emotional progress.
In this guide you will learn to manage rejection in your social relationships and in your adventures of seduction. Focusing mostly on resolve rejections of girls or boys that we are meeting. Although its principles are also applicable to relationships. Looking for these to avoid or manage conflicts in order to have a healthier and more pleasant relationship.
In this way we will focus on what to say and what to do in situations of loving rejection, With the ultimate goal of achieving our goals while being attractive and seductive. Or attractive and seductive in the female case ...
On the other hand, if what you are looking for is overcome a rejection considering its most psychological aspects, I also recommend this other article more focused on that purpose: Emotional dependence: How to overcome a love obsession
- 0.1 Frequently asked questions about love rejection
- 0.1.1 MORE IN WE'RE BRAVE
- 0.1.2 MORE IN WE'RE BRAVE
- 0.1.3 MORE IN WE'RE BRAVE
- 0.1.4 MORE IN WE'RE BRAVE
- 0.2 How does communication rejection work?
- 1 What to do and what to say when they reject you?
- 1.1 3 emotional ways to respond to rejection
- 1.1.1 Sense of humor
- 1.1.2 Emotional or Romantic Connection
- 1.1.3 Sexualizing - Generating sexual tension
- 1.2 Wake up beauty: Creativity in the art of love
- 1.3 We live in poetry: Poems and thoughts in prose
- 1.4 5 Tips to overcome rejection effectively
- 1.4.1 May your body accompany the message you convey
- 1.4.2 Get ahead of rejection with your observation
- 1.4.3 Don't take it as personal
- 1.4.4 Accept rejection with a positive attitude
- 1.4.5 Get ready so that rejection does not become a love obsession
- 1.4.6 MORE IN WE'RE BRAVE
- 1.1 3 emotional ways to respond to rejection
Frequently asked questions about love rejection
(Click on the questions to display their answers)
Why do they reject us when we try to meet a person?
Some reasons why they can reject us when we try to seduce someone are:
- They don't consider us interesting enough.
- The other person says he has a boyfriend and indeed that is the case even though we may like him.
- We do not attract you physically.
- She is busy and does not want to pay attention to us.
- He is a shy person and is ashamed to talk to strangers.
- You feel vulnerable and not worthy of our attention.
- He is not in a good mood to interact with us.
- The other person thinks it's too early to move on ...
For example towards: kissing, having sex, formalizing a relationship, etc.
- There is no adaptation between the interests of one and the other, resorting to rejection to cut the relationship.
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Why do they reject us when we try to return with our partner?
Some reasons why they can reject us when we try to return with a person we have already been:
- The other person thinks that at this time in his life he is more interested in being single.
- There have been problems in the relationship and you are not willing to face them.
- The reasons why the relationship was broken have not been resolved.
- He has lost the sexual or romantic attraction he once felt.
- Consider that you can find someone who best meets your needs.
- There are professional reasons that separate you and you are not willing to have a distance relationship.
- He has met another person he likes best.
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If they reject you, does that mean you don't like them?
Before a rejection we don't have to consider first that the other person doesn't like us physically or psychologically There may be many other reasons.
If we are talking to a guy we notice that he likes and he runs out of conversation, telling us that he will return with his friends, a management of that rejection could be to say:
"Wait a moment, I promise you, if you don't like this, I will let you come back with your friends, okay?" Come closer… ”he obeys shyly as she gives him a soft and warm kiss.
The two end up laughing as they look into each other's eyes.
In this case, the girl knows that she likes him and that he would be happy to continue meeting her. However, his shyness leads him to flee back with his friends when he remains without knowing what else to talk about. What she manages with play and daring approaching him to plant a kiss. Something that makes him feel more comfortable to see that she is also interested in him. What in turn encourages his talks ...
Note that before a loving rejection Sometimes we have to risk if we want to solve it. Many times they don't reject us, they reject the situation. The important thing is to be more attentive to what our bodies say than to what our words say. Always being careful not to screw up ... From here I defend more than anyone the phrase: "A is not a no." But as long as that is not true and does not mean yes.
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When to keep insisting and when not?
Insisting on a loving rejection is perfectly healthy, natural and seductive. In my personal experience, I wouldn't even have a partner if I hadn't applied the knowledge of this article. My girlfriend rejected me many times when I approached to try to meet her. Why did I keep insisting? Simply because the more I talked to her, the better I was doing. That is to say that little by little he felt that he liked it more.
When should we stop insisting? Easy, when their refusals are increasingly dry and their nonverbal language does not make gestures that we like each other. That is when a withdrawal in time is a victory. It is not worth insisting too much trying to convince someone of something that is very clear that he does not want.
When can we continue to insist? When the negatives of the other person are performed as part of a seductive game environment. That is, they tell us no but in a flirtatious and player way. With increasingly intense smiles and looks of attraction even though the negatives persist. Those negatives can be part of the game itself.
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How does communication rejection work?
Difference between objections or excuses
Whatever the reason they reject us, A refusal results in objections or excuses. Both concepts are widely used in sales and persuasion. In matters of loving rejection, what we must be clear about is that there is always a real objection behind a rejection. That is, a reason that encourages the other to say no. However, the way of saying it may be covered up by excuses. Let's see an example:
"I live around here, do you feel like we are going to have a drink at my house?" - she asks a boy with whom she has been talking for a while in a bar and it seems that there is attraction.
-I would like, but I can not. I have come with some friends in my car and I cannot leave them alone.
In this case we would face an objection if that is the real reason why the boy does not accept the girl's proposal. Now, let's imagine that the boy said that because he has a partner and although he is faithful, he likes talking to other girls when he goes out. In this second case we would be facing an excuse. The real objection would be that he has a partner, but since he does not want to reveal it, he avoids the proposal with an excuse.
Observe with intuition
In order to give convincing arguments that can reverse a rejection, if it is possible to reverse it, we need to detect the information that is really true.
It would be useless to try to convince the boy from the previous example to leave his friends alone and pick them up later, when that is not the reason that leads him to reject her. Hence the importance of being wasted and through intuition try to see beyond what they tell us. The girl could answer gracefully and mischievously that her friends are old enough to take the chestnuts out of the fire and return home alone. Or maybe tell him that it is only going to be a drink and that you will be back soon ... And this is when you see that the excuses happen to be less and less convincing, to realize that there must be a more important motive behind. What can lead her to give up and focus on meeting other people if her goal was to meet a boy with whom to have a sexual or loving relationship.
Win time or produce progress
When we talk about gain time, we mean, as if it were a negotiation process, to get more time in that interaction so we can have the opportunity to continue moving forward. Which is vital if what you want is flirt with a person you like. Regarding produce a breakthrough It would be an immediate management. That is, we reject that rejection by moving forward. This being somewhat paradoxical and not rational, but this is the seduction.
If, for example, a girl rejects us saying that she has only gone out to dance with her friends, the management of that rejection will help us gain time. Maybe changing the subject and talking about something that interests you so you lose interest in returning with your friends. OR produce a breakthrough seductively speaking if we venture out to dance with a playful and fun gesture, and from there he prefers to be with us than with his group.
What to do and what to say when they reject you?
Our main objective to respond to a loving rejection will be that of persuade and convince towards the ends we want. Highlighting in this way the positive parts of what we propose and making the other person see that what we offer is beneficial for her:
- An atmosphere of good humor where you can have a great time with us.
- An exciting seduction game environment for both of you.
- An emotional connection that leads us to know more and feel magical sensations.
- Talks with interesting conversation topics that entertain us and contribute knowledge.
- Etc, etc., etc.
This will make us see the other person that our proposal is beneficial for her. Playing with both logic and irrationality. Hence, our way of communicating will not always be explicit (communicated verbally and supported by reasoning). Many times we will focus on stimulate and provoke emotions that persuade by themselves, without having to verbalize those benefits that stimulate persuasion. In this case we would talk about emotional communication.
3 emotional ways to respond to rejection
If after taking a cut or a love rejection you don't usually know what to say, Stay well with these three proposals. In them we will learn to direct our responses from the sense of humor, emotional connection and sexualization. Well as we have seen to gain time, or to produce progress.
Sense of humor
If you have seen the series Californication You can take Hank Moody as a clear reference in this to solve rejections using the sense of humor. This approach is intended relax and captivate the mood while showing intelligence and increase our attractiveness. It provokes emotions and attitudes that help us lower the defenses of the other person.
Examples answering a rejection with a sense of humor:
"Hello, how are you?"
"What are you coming to flirt with?" - she answers with the face of few friends.
"Fuck ... you have a better nose than police dogs," he replies with great appeal appealing to ridicule.
After her response, she can't help a smile from escaping and immediately begins to spread his good mood.
"Very good that one!"
"And from what I see, your smile doesn't have anything to envy either of your nose or those police canids."
—Don't believe it! I don't usually teach my smile to strangers too much. I am more than teaching teeth. So you better keep an eye!
—Every day that passes I like you more…
—And I who raised that you just met me… but come on, I'll take it as a compliment. By the way, my name is Monica.
-I am David!
-Get out of here!
-Can you repeat it please? I have been very sexy impetus you have put. It has sounded poetic and everything. Can you say it a little louder this time?
-Hahaha! No, once is enough. If you are deaf it is not my fault.
"I get a little deaf when I get fired with smiles like that ..."
Find out more at: How to respond to a rejection with a sense of humor
More on how to develop your sense of humor in: How to improve your sense of humor
Emotional or Romantic Connection
We manage rejection based on the emotions we feel for each other, thus giving a reason to make advances in the seductive process. Although yes, make sure before connecting emotionally.
Example of resolving rejections with emotional communication:
-Go to my house? We can have a last drink there and we talk more calmly, ”the boy tells the girl after having kissed her several times and connected with her. Come on, there's mandanga!
"I'm not a fresh one of those who throws an uncle the first night," she says, moving a few inches away from him. (Objection)
"Maria, as I told you before, you make me feel very special when I am with you," she whispers, approaching her as he takes her hand. It does not fit into my plans to spoil this connection that we are feeling.
—The truth is that it is being very pretty.
"That's why I would love to be with you in a quieter way, without the bustle of a disco." I promise you that nothing will happen that you don't want to happen.
"But ... I don't know ..."
"Look me in the eye." You feel the same than me? I think being alone with you tonight can be something magical ...
"The truth is that what is happening is very special," he says, nodding to the proposal.
"Okay, let's go." I live here nearby. Then I accompany you to your house to make sure that your beauty arrives in full condition at your palace ...
-Hahaha! It is not exactly a palace, but it seems perfect.
Learn to communicate emotionally in: Emotional communication: Express feelings and emotions
Sexualizing - Generating sexual tension
We respond by generating sexual tension when we understand that the energy of sex is the most conducive to resolving negatives. That is, the best way to persuade the other is to excite him. Since the more excited you are, the more possibilities you have to do what we are proposing.
Example responding to a rejection for the age difference:
"You're too young for me," she says, denying my intentions to kiss her.
-Do not worry. We can be just friends. You put the experience of living and I the youthful energy - I whisper as I get closer to her. Taking her from her waist. Allowing our bodies to rub.
"Something tells me that being just friends is just an excuse to keep talking to me," she replies mischievously entering my seduction game.
"Are you always so smart for everything?"
"I try to give it a try, although you're not very good at lying." You make it easy for me!
-You're right. When they taught to lie at school I was thinking about other things, I whisper as I stroke his arm with my hands. My gaze remains fixed on his eyes.
"Very bad, you have to be more applied."
"I promise I will be very applied with you." Do you want a little demonstration? —I hope to approach to kiss his neck softly. I look her in the eye again. And what can you teach me to educate me better?
Example responding to a refusal to have sex:
"I feel small, but I'm a little tired and I don't feel like sex tonight."
"Okay, relax and rest," she whispers, approaching as she starts to wiggle her tongue around her neck.
"Seriously, nothing is going to happen," he replies, laughing at the tickles.
"Shut up, that's something I've already assumed." Let me enjoy your body for a few minutes.
She keeps kissing and caressing her partner. Objective? Excite him so much that he can't contain himself. Will you get it? You never know, although I have already been played several times in this way. I always fall!
Find out more at: Respond to a sexualizing rejection: Create sexual tension
Learn to sexualize in: Seduce transmitting sexual tension
5 Tips to overcome rejection effectively
May your body accompany the message you convey
We have seen three ways of acting in the face of a loving rejection. None is independent of the other. Of course, they lack strength if the issuer does not accompany their message with emotions. For this to have persuasive strength it must be sincere.
- If we want to provoke arousal to turn around a rejection, we must be the first to feel excited.
- If we want to make the other person feel how special we are feeling, she has to notice in our eyes, voice and movements that we really feel that way.
- As for the sense of humor, it goes without saying that if what we say we say without grace, not even the most smiling person in the world will laugh.
Words alone don't say anything
Many times we remain alone in the message. There are boys who study phrases by heart like those in the examples thinking that they will get results with them. But pulling memory to say something that doesn't feel or isn't even happening is the most direct way of telling the other person that we're lying to you.
What will they pay more attention to, what our words say or nonverbal sensations? Obviously, and more after he has been able to fool them before, they will trust more than their own intuition tells them. Lighter water!
Honesty is one of the most powerful weapons of seduction. Be honest and do what you really feel. That way you will lose some battles, but rest assured that you will win the most important ones.
Get ahead of rejection with your observation
Another way to resolve rejections is to condition them not to occur or anticipate their responses by saying how we are, understand and feel life.
Personally, I am a quite spiritual person. I think of life as an enjoyment of the present moment. For me without enjoying the now, we would never enjoy anything. The future never comes, it is always a distant present. And this way of thinking coupled with my ability to transmit it makes many of those rejections that do not correspond to that way of life cease to make sense ...
It's better to prevent than to cure
If, for example, during an appointment you manage to convey that philosophy of life of the enjoyment of the present moment, if the other person had in mind "I do not have sex in the first dates" but that thought goes against what he feels he wants now. This philosophy that you have transmitted during the appointment can prevent this possible rejection and that ends up being carried away by what you really want at that time.
If we can intuit what are the possible objections or excuses that they will give us later, we can see through communication how to solve them before they tell us. Thus conditioning their future behavior. You can learn more about the conditioning here: Watch your conditioning and take control of your actions.
In the case of looking for a sexual encounter, we could talk freely about sex and how wonderful it is during the appointment. So that it is seen in the framework of the interaction as something that is not taboo for either. So when you have to take that step, there will be less chance of being rejected.
Don't take it as personal
In many of the students who come to me social skills courses I can see how those most insecure consider rejection as contempt for themselves. Which leads them to judge themselves negatively through the subjective view of another person, who in many cases has done nothing but reject a first image we have projected. A first image that gives little data of people who really are everything they can contribute.
In those moments where our mind begins to navigate the negativity caused by a rejection, remember your successes and personal strengths. Reflect on what other people and yourself value yourself and see that many of those qualities have not been seen by the person who has rejected you.
Improve your self-esteem and security with a guide:
How to improve self-esteem: Ultimate guide to 7 factors
Accept rejection with a positive attitude
There is no rejection for those who feel happy inside. Your positive energy will spread and turn off the negative energy of the other person.
If they insult you, smile. And calm, because you will not be like a fool, only as someone with high self-esteem whose happiness does not depend on the actions of others. Someone who looks at life with optimism.
Let's begin to see rejection as an opportunity to show who we are and what emotions and feelings we can transmit to people. A first rejection when they don't even know us is nothing more than a rejection of our first impression. That image changes noticeably when we begin to generate positive emotions in the other person through humor.
When we show that rejection does not affect us in the least and we are willing to play it, we project that high self-esteem and correct management of our emotions.
Get ready so that rejection does not become a love obsession
If you are aware of how the mechanisms of your mind work when you fall in love, you can avoid falling into unrequited obsessions. In turn, high self-esteem and self-awareness with thoughts that value your emotional freedom will make you feel stronger and smarter in your relationships.
You may also like: Overcome the love obsession not to fall into dependence
Rejection is just a test towards our consistency. It puts us in front of our desires to say no and see if the pasta we are made of leads us to fight or give up. Fight, learn and advance until you get what you want. You are the owner of your destiny if you never stop fighting.