Living in the past has two faces. Some people are disturbed by the events of their past, while others live longing for the moments they have already lived. They are the two negative sides of a coin that we might have had to withdraw from circulation long ago. But if this is your case, you are not alone.
To live in the past is to die in the present. Get out of the grave, the world is full of hidden wonders. We just have to be brave and open our eyes to now to see them.
Many live longing for the past or tormenting him. Sometimes they are just moments. Maybe, little moments when you are alone and there is no one around you. Hours of the clock that make you relive what has already been experienced. Or maybe they are times that are repeated more frequently, and that's why you're here. But what can we do to let live in the past? Let's go for the solutions!
- 1 How to stop living in the past and start enjoying the present
- 1.1 Wake up beauty: Creativity in the art of love
- 1.2 We live in poetry: Poems and thoughts in prose
- 1.3 Nostalgia for the past
How to stop living in the past and start enjoying the present
Be aware of where you put your attention
To live in the past is to escape in some way from our present. So that The first step is to identify what we are escaping and find out how we can change it. Or in the case that there is no solution, think about how we can I accept to turn the page
The attention is like a general who leads an army. You can do it towards victory or towards destruction. The good news is that you are that general. You are the one who has control of your attention. If the focus you are targeting does not generate happiness, then you just have to look for new points where to direct your gaze.
Recover the enthusiasm for living now
I don't get tired of saying it. Darkness is fought by throwing light on it. That light bulb is you now. To stop living in the past you need to enjoy your present more. Who can think about what he did yesterday when he is completely focused on what is happening to him now?
But how can we live more in the now? The answer is not how to do, but what is the medicine that will help us achieve it. And no, it is not alcohol or drugs although many use these routes as a momentary substitute. It is meditation.
Thanks to meditation, we train our mind to focus its attention on present sensations and thus stop wandering into the thoughts that lead us to live in the past.
Stop longing for the past and start appreciating
For me the word that best defines the way to live now and be happy is: Appreciation.
On that is based much of consciousness. That distinguishes those who see from those who do not. It is a matter of knowing how to appreciate. But it is not limited to appreciating what one has. That is one of its important points, but the appreciation goes much further.
It consists of knowing how to appreciate oneself and others with their virtues and their defects. Like when we are in love with someone and even those things that could annoy us, thanks to the appreciation of falling in love we find them funny.
My happiness is that I know how to appreciate what I have and I don't want too much what I don't have.
With the appreciation we distinguish and value the beauties of the world and we get to see beauty where others see nothing but waste. I repeat: when you appreciate your now and let yourself be flooded by its beauty, you forget to pay attention to your memories of the past.
Whenever you feel sad or happiness make absence in your company, in the moments in which you feel motivated to remember that past that makes you suffer now, ask yourself:
Am I knowing how to appreciate what I am, what life gives me and what I have?
As a practical exercise I recommend that before bedtime you read poetry that you like for at least 10 minutes, and then meditate at least another 10. The intensity of poetry plus the relaxation of meditation, as the days go by, will help you live more now. It will help you forget the past and open your eyes to the beauties of life.
Feel free from all guilt
If you have been free, even if some things have not worked out as you would like, feel free from all guilt. Do not let your past turn bitter you now.
Have you flown like birds? You may not have reached some ports ... But if you have been free ... if you have enjoyed the sky, the sun caressing your wings, the ocean breeze moistening your face ... The rest of the night and its stars illuminating your soul ... What regret is so important to wither all that? Hasn't the trip been worth it?
It is a mistake to look at what has been achieved or not, what one has or does not have, without evaluating the path reran. If you have tasted life, feel happy about it. If you have suffered, also feel happy, because perhaps it is time to open up with new eyes. And the past can't take that away from you.
I am not to blame for life being nourished by virtue and sin, the beautiful and the ugly.
Benito Pérez Galdos
Be free! Be brave and act accordingly. Above all, live accordingly. Appreciate this moment. Perceive the rose of the garden. The smile of a girl. The jumping birds. Be free to feel and act by letting go of everything else, because if you want, every moment can come again and make you feel new. As a gift we want to open hurriedly. It is the illusion of feeling and living free. Letting go of everything that turns off our brightness ...
Remember past relationships
Love must be seen as what it is, something that sweetens our now and we must feel intensely. It is part of our essence.
If love ends with another person, you have to let go of frustration and reopen to him when the wounds have healed. But you never have to be afraid of him. That is one of the focuses that most concern me about people living in the past. Love relationships.
All past relationships condition our present if we allow it. They make us tremble with fear if we suffer a lot. It causes insecurity in us. Frustrations Emotions that make us be another person. They cause us not to be ourselves, but only a fearful and anguished version.
Our life is now, the past ends up wilting in our memories and not by tasting sour honeys you can close the door to the sweets that are to come. Don't let a wound past destroy the immense love that is in you. You must meditate on these relationships, face them and release them once and for all to open doors and windows to love again.
Do not blame others for your evils
When we are guilty of a past that disturbs us, we do no favor. Blaming others is fostering an accusative attitude that is useless. Why? Neither more nor less than because we live in a society and the influence of others will always be there. Sometimes they will affect you for good and sometimes for bad. But we always have people around us.
You can't play a game of tennis and get mad at the stands because you've lost. The fault lies with my parents, who never see them encouraging me…. And you will tell me, fuck David, what an extreme example. And I answer you: I have seen them similar to hundreds.
The mind in order to avoid facing its frustrations becomes stupid. But you don't have to fall into this trap. If you do, the only thing you will get is to drag those frustrations all your life. To miss a past where to change your decisions that will not return. You will be wasting the wonderful life you have left. The poet already said it:
We are the time we have left.
José Manuel Caballero Bonald
Be brave, always face the facts of your life as variables. Circumstances that have been able to favor or harm you. Good and bad luck. Coins change sides at 50% each time they fall. That says the statistic. With this attitude of being brave and facing your past with awareness, you can release it permanently and forever. You will take off your spine and you can live freer.
To heal ... it has to hurt first.
Dream of a magical future
Living now is the key to being happy, but Dreaming is the food of illusion. But you have to know how to dream ...
The problem of dreams is in expectation. If we set big and unpredictable goals without knowing how to accept failures if they arrive, the expectation can consume us. That is to say, you can aim at the Moon, but if you finally stay in the clouds, you better be ready to enjoy the beautiful clouds. Although you like the moon more. I explain?
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
My recommendation is that Dream and set goals that you renew over time as you fight for them, are finally met, or do not. That way you will be pointing your mind to do things that excite you. Towards what moves your currents. This way you will have less time to miss or live in the past, because what you will long for is to continue dreaming while enjoying your transit in the now.
Meditate on what you learned from your mistakes
There are those who live in the past is a constant reminder of their mistakes. If this happens to you, what you have to ask yourself is: What can I do now thanks to my past mistakes? What have I learned from them? How can I take advantage of those painful experiences to be happier or more successful today?
Only one's own personal experience makes the man wise.
Visualize from outside those mistakes you made and that make you feel pain now in your meditation exercises. Take the attitude of learning from them. If you can, try to feel love and gratitude towards them while you meditate. Visualize your positive side. So you can heal them to let them go definitively. Imagine how finally and after planting them face, they move away from you forever.
On the other hand, stop reproaching yourself for everything you did wrong. The reproach is very destructive, being able to inhibit all our talent. Release it and tell yourself that it's not time for reproaches, but to review what has been learned and keep moving forward. Over and over again…
We should use the past as a springboard and not as a sofa.
More attitudes and habits to release your past and strengthen your self-esteem in:
How to improve self-esteem: Ultimate guide to 7 factors
Nostalgia for the past
When we don't want to run from the past, but what we want is to relive it again, is when we produce nostalgia. Causing that when we look at him we exalt his beauty, since we miss him.
Have you ever talked to someone about moments in your past and exposed them as if they were the most? Maybe in his day it was not the thing for so much, but now you hallucinate! It happens to me with my old teenage motorcycle. Every time I think of her or talk about those days with my friends I see it as an almost divine experience. But if I think about it seriously, it was simply a beautiful experience that made me enjoy my first shots of freedom. But not something from the other world either ...
The mind sells us the positive / negative past better / worse than it actually was. He praises him. To stop living longing for that past, we must learn to fight nostalgia.
Live the present as the bridge you cross to enjoy the transit to an always bright future. Ask yourself: Am I enjoying what I do today and now? What I am doing is allowing me to grow internally? If both answers are positive, you'll never have to worry. You will always get over any obstacle!