Labia is the communicative ability that refers to the ability to speak with grace, convincing and in a way that is attractive to the recipients of the message.
You don't know what to say to that girl or that boy you like? Are your conversations too short or boring? Do you block yourself and don't know what to say to someone you just met? Don't you know how to start a conversation?
Do not worry, all these unpleasant situations can be resolved by increasing your lips with these 10 tips that I have studied and practiced thoroughly and that I bring you structured in 4 blocks.
Many of them are accompanied by other articles to favor their understanding and development so that you get more labia. My advice is that you read this entire article and following it go to each article that interests you by clicking on the links. If you can read them all, much better! You will learn new things in each of them.
- 1 Look to know what to say
- 2 Wake up beauty: Creativity in the art of love
- 3 We live in poetry: Poems and thoughts in prose
- 4 Communication skills
- 5 Influences
- 6 Attitude
Look to know what to say
To know what to talk about and have a good conversation it is essential to be attentive to the details of the context that surrounds us, the other person and what it says. From our own observation we will obtain the information we need to communicate.
Many people become obsessed with fear of not knowing what to say and immerse themselves in their mental world. That immerses them inside their head and prevents them from being attentive to what is happening around them.
When they get into their own bubble, it is impossible for them to have the courage and much less that what they say is consistent with what they are feeling next to each other. Hence it is vital to have full attention on what is happening in the present moment. Helping us to disperse the continuous mental thoughts to obtain the mental clarity we need to flow between the information nodes of our memory.
Okay, the first thing is to watch carefully, but What do we observe?
Look at the context
Context is the set of circumstances that occur around a fact.
If we meet someone in a bar, the context will be everything that surrounds that encounter: the decoration of the bar, the people and what they do, waiters, etc. If, for example, a waiter drops a glass and you have been attentive or attentive to the context, it will occur to you to say something to which you associate this stimulus:
"Don't worry, he's David de Gea's cousin." It comes from family ... (We capture the stimulus + we relate it to something we already have in our memory as the bad performance of the well-known goalkeeper in the last World Cup + we express it with a sense of humor).
Another example could be:
—That car that just happened reminds me of my father when I was a child. I remember getting on his feet and making me believe he was driving. What a silly face I was and how excited I felt.
In the latter, instead of humor, we take advantage of the context to create a sentimental connection based on past experience. In addition, childhood experiences usually have a greater impact and create emotional connections. Although for that you can discover much more in this other article about emotional communication.
Extracted from my book Wake up beauty.
-Forgives! Excuse me if I am a little nervous but this is the first time I have approached a girl to ask what breed her dog is when in fact I know perfectly well that it is a Yorkshire and what really interests me is knowing if we can get to like it enough as if to get married and see if it's going to be him — point it to the dog — who brings the rings to the altar.
"Poor thing, we still don't know our names and you're already giving him a job," she replies with a radiant smile and more than a sweet smile.
Nerves make me talk, talk and talk. However, from outside I can appreciate the intense beauty of this image. Realizing how important the emotions that this experience is teaching the world are. The romantic warmth of that nervousness that dictates that what is weighing is relevant. Because if those green eyes that they look at me expectantly I wouldn't care, what the hell would I do when I got to know her? Nervous, here I am! Loving the intensity of the moment.
"My education is mine." Sorry, curiosity loses me. I'm David, and you?
"I am Sonia, and nobody had ever told me anything like that to try to meet me," she says smilingly. Nervous but at the same time sharp.
"Well, luckily, there is a first time for everything ..."
We extract and sort the information from the context. In the previous example, the starting information would be that it is the first time that we approached to ask a breed of dog that we already know because we want to meet that other person. What we use to laugh at the situation while showing our interest in knowing it.
To do this, we associate the information of that current context with other futures, such as how funny it is for a dog to take the rings to an altar. Something that we will have seen in a movie ...
Look at the other person
Without a doubt, the other person or people with whom we are talking are a great source of information that will help us know what to say to have more courage. Looking at their clothes, their gestures, how they express themselves, their behaviors, opinions, etc. Being able to use them to to praise to the other person by opening to expose our opinions about what he transmits and generates.
Let's look at some example sentences:
"Whenever I talked to you at the gym, you automatically cheered me up." I like interacting with people like that. With those kind of people that you know, whatever happens, with your smile it is enough to get you from their exciting energy.
"I would not dare to express in words what you generate with that dress." But if I have the opportunity to get lost in your curves tonight, I assure you that I will not step on the brake.
"Working with you is like going to Disneyland." There is always something new to see and learn from that prodigiously creative mind you have.
Look at the text
The text is neither more nor less than what they are telling us and what we are communicating ourselves. The problem comes when we get blocked and we don't know where to continue the conversation. To avoid this we will rely on conversational threads and their corresponding mental associations, which will be what brings us the most labia. To quickly understand what they are we will see with some examples.
—Vengo de hacer sport y am Great tired.
This phrase contains five conversational threads that we have underlined in bold. To explain it better, we will identify when we pull any of the threads and when not.
- (THROWING THE THREADS) I didn't know you liked sports. Although good ... it shows that you are a person who takes care of himself (we also take the opportunity to qualify, implying that we like his physique)
—(BREAKING THE THREADS) Well now you take a shower and stay new ...
From the first sentence, the other person can extract several conversational threads again. Mainly, sport again and take care of yourself. So you could extend a conversation. In the second sentence the thread breaks and we run the risk of stagnating, since we are provoking a poorer response.
- (ANSWER TO THROWING THE THREADS) Maintaining the line is always important. Although I mainly do it because I am passionate. When I was little, my parents signed me up to play tennis and since then I do all kinds of sports.
- (REPLIES TO BREAKING THE THREADS) Well yes, right now I get under water.
At the same time the conversational threads can take them wherever we want. We could continue talking about sport or start talking about his childhood (new thread), which will surely give us more information and emotional connection. Although the most important thing is to be able to create any related association.
For example, if sport is a passion for the other person, we can relate it to our passion for music and look for common points that unite our interests. You can learn more about this in my book Awake Beauty and in my article on what to talk about on a date.
To have more style and enjoy long and pleasant conversations, we distinguish two basic communication skills: Empathy and assertiveness.
La empathy It is the ability of people to put themselves in the place of others to understand and accept their behavior. In this way we can find out and intuit what this person feels or thinks.
This is essential to have more work, as it will help us extract a lot of intuitive information that will help us be more persuasive and adjust our messages to the interests of the other. It will also help us avoid misunderstandings and unwanted conflicts.
We do not live alone in the world. Part of the sweet taste of life lies in understanding and making others enjoy with our presence. You can be one of those little voices that always provides encouragement and spreads its desire to live to those around you.
On the other hand, if that other person feels that you listen to her and that you understand her, she will be more interested in spreading more in her talks and in turn this will lead to more and more conversational threads.
La assertiveness It is a communication skill that is at a point of balance between aggressiveness and passivity. Considering himself the most inclined to establish lasting and comfortable conversations. Passive people tend to have little labia, while aggressive people tend to talk excessively.
The idea of assertiveness is to find a balance where we can express our opinions and interests while respecting those of others. And similarly, make us respect both those opinions and our behaviors. Avoiding attacking the rest but at the same time feeling confident that we can defend ourselves. What helps us to let go of our lips and talk more, because if we feel that we can defend ourselves in an attractive and safe way, we lose the fear of making mistakes or getting involved with us.
La emotional communication It is the external expression of our perception of reality as we feel and experience it. It is the most effective type of communication to improve the lip, within which is the sense of humor. So it does not have to be a logical and rational communication, it can even be totally absurd and absurd.
Its power is measured in what communicates with emotions. That is, in the sensations and emotions we wake up in others with what we tell them. In my book Wake up beauty, you have this type of communication explained in detail in its 368 pages full of conversation examples. Let's now look at one of those examples to understand the concept:
THE BEAUTY OF WORK
—What majestic work do you play in this life? He asks with a bombastic tone that makes me laugh.
"I've always liked serving others and imagining what they may be living." Does that clue help you guess it? I answer coquettishly without taking my eyes off his eyes as I play with my cup.
"The riddles have never given me anything right, but you won't see me running away with your tail between my legs," he says with a bold gesture. What else can you tell me to help me find out?
I laugh with some hidden shyness and bad pretense. I feel confident and eager to provoke him. To play truth and punishment.
He follows the game with a burning and devilish smile.
"I've already given you a good clue." I do not refuse to give you a second but I think it's your turn right now. It is fair.
I still stoke the stimulating unpredictability of the game, this time with a more fun and challenging tone.
"Okay, I'll make it easy for you!" I am a dream carrier. I take care that the fantasies that are born in a point A end up materializing in a point B.
—Hum! What are you? A kind of spiritual guide of strong emotions?
"More or less," he replies, smiling. I am a taxi driver. Of those who like to imagine that it carries great stories on its wheels.
-How strong! You are a full-fledged copy ...
"You have been the one who gave me step first."
—I work as a waitress and many times I wonder what is behind each person. For example, I see a couple and I wonder: where in their story will they be together? What will have brought you here?
As I keep talking I see how he feels more and more secure with me. I feel a little elated and at the same time connected to him.
His way of listening makes my words sweeten.
"I see we both share the same look of beauty in the face of everyday things." You got me dumbfounded listening to you ...
Do you want to know how to have labia? Well, if you learn to communicate emotionally by expressing your feelings, just as women do in their long conversations with friends, your conversations will become much longer and you will connect better with people.
Our influences consist of everything that will bring us the specific conversation topics we are going to talk about and the richness or linguistic creativity in the use of words.
Stop having the mind the more we are able to talk about a multitude of interesting conversation topics best. Especially if we follow certain tips that will make any topic can be stimulating.
For that, it is also vital to have knowledge and experiences to share. There will be conversations in which we can contribute things that we have read, that we have been told, that we have seen or that have happened to us.
The good thing is to know a little of everything, or at least learn to find the possible relationship you can have with any topic of conversation, or even ask if you don't know. We all love to explain what we know and discuss different points of view. Do not be afraid to ask when you do not know and look for the relationship that these issues may have with others that you do. You can also take a look at this article:
Communicative creativity or speak with grace
When we talked at the beginning of this article about what labia was, we said that besides communicating a lot, it was communicating gracefully. This is something that can be developed quickly by being persistent and surrounding us with good influences. We talk about this in more depth in my article on how to improve your sense of humor.
Generate positive emotions
A cheerful and motivating attitude is essential to have the courage, causing a lot of positive states so that we know what to say in each moment and how to do it in a funnier way.
We all want to be with people who excite us and motivate us to immerse ourselves in how beautiful it is to live. A good smile is the key to many doors. When you talk to others try to avoid the complaint and talk about what frustrates you, because the disease of anguish and tremendously contagious and the best way to combat it and focusing our focus on what beautifies our days, not on what disturbs them.
A great example of generating negative states is jealousy, capable of destroying many relationships with their destructive oppressive burdens. If a topic of conversation generates negative emotions or can result in useless conflicts, ask yourself if it is really necessary to talk about it or it can be avoided. It uses empathy and assertiveness before seen and seeks Improve Your Self Esteem all you can to avoid bad rolls that lead to nothing.
Bet on naturalness
For our mind to be clear and we can have a lot of work, we need to be natural. Flow without our mind being absorbed thinking about our fears or what we want to achieve. For which it is necessary to accept ourselves as we are and from there trust in our development. We may not currently be as we would like to be. It is a feeling that everyone has, even those most successful.
We are programmed to want more and more. To motivate the movement of constant change. And that's good, it's positive to want to improve. But as long as that doesn't bitter our present. And so that does not happen We have to accept and love each day. That will give us the security that our mind demands so that fears and insecurities do not inhibit our labia. It is that fear of what they will think of us that makes us shut up, preventing our natural lips from expanding their wings.
Therefore, clear your mind and be natural. Although at first when learning something new it costs you. You can use my guided meditations in MP3 to relieve the thoughts of your mind and let you carry more fluently in your social relationships.
The greatest power of seduction is to be happy and spread happiness to those around you. Admire and respect men and women. Love with intensity and treat your lovers with respect, courtesy and eroticism. Become addicted to feeling and generating positive emotions!