Nostalgia is a feeling in which we experience longing for past situations, attitudes, abilities or personality traits that we had in the past and now we do not find.
While a gentle and delicate walk through our past can be very positive, the terrible mistake occurs when you start comparing and under the feeling that in our past we were or were better than now.
The saying goes: Any past tense was always better.
But this is not true. It is a mental effect produced by nostalgia.
Nostalgia for longing for the past
Was any past tense always better?
Some complain that their past was horrible, but many of them have strengthened in it and now enjoy better lives. Although there are always scars left.
The greatest drama is for those who long for their past and always see it better than their present or future expectations, because they will never be satisfied with anything. Whether it is positive or negative, the past serves to connect with our resources and learning, and to recreate us in its most pleasant visualization. But nothing more.
If we begin to walk along the swampy path of comparison between our now and our past, we can get lost in the confines of a nostalgia that is firmly destructive. We avoid what we believe is a worse present (our reality), to take refuge in the pain of not being able to relive moments of previous happiness.
What sounds bad?
Many psychological therapies fail precisely because they stagnate the patient in reliving past events and emotions already expired. We have to perform an acceptance exercise, letting time go by and creating illusion through firm steps towards a better future.
How do we feed nostalgia?
A trap of our imagination
Nostalgia is enhanced with our thoughts in our imaginative course between the past and the future. We create it through imagination.
If, for example, we have doubts about what we are going to do in the workplace in the future, perhaps because we are somewhat stuck, resorting to the nostalgia of the past would be to imagine how years ago we felt much safer or with dreams of success much greater than got.
This is an example that looks a lot in the movies, when the protagonist tells: I remember that years ago I had a life full of dreams. I ate the world. There was no one who could with me. And now look at me, stuck in a job with no future.
This kind of thoughts can generate us deep feelings of guilt. We are so disappointed by our current situation by buying it with our past perspectives, that we began to destroy ourselves psychologically and without mercy.
Pay your attention to what you have and what you can get and you will be happy. Put your attention on what you lost or did not get, and no one can save you from the pit of sadness.
You have to avoid this attitude. Do not fall into their claws. We can remember our past successes or how much we enjoy, or even how handsome we were, but always from a loving attitude towards our present, and an attitude of growth when we look up to our future.
Start fighting nostalgia
Focus on doing your best now and in your future
Stop a second and think, the past no longer exists. I am no longer that person that I was. But now I can be better and enjoy more. Now I can devise new adventures and illusions that give me energy.
Es Now the moment I decide to move towards a better self. It is at this moment that I visualize a future to my liking, and I will take action now. I am at the starting line. I will leave behind doubts and feelings of guilt, because they favor me nothing. I will return to the starting line. It is my time to be reborn and to start a new adventure in my life. Close your eyes and feel this new rebirth.
Love and want what you want now, and just do what you have to do to get it. If in some moments you have to have a bad time, celebrate it, because that way your victory will enjoy more sweetness, or fuck and resist, because you were not born to throw in the towel. We've all thrown in the towel sometime, and we've all regretted doing it every one of those times. This has always happened to us.
Do not imagine what it could have been if you had been as you were at the time of your past. It might have been worse, but your mind will trick you into only seeing what could have been better.
Now is your role, and doing so is writing your story. We fall and reinvent ourselves every moment and the best result is our current self. Don't give up, go on and on a thousand times. So you get to the cima. Your top. The one you imagine ...
Thus you will create a turning point. A foothold in your present. Give me a fulcrum and I will move the world. Every movement of our body is based on that law of physics. Feel, move forward and dream.
Discover more to increase your confidence and security in:
How to improve self-esteem: Ultimate guide to 7 factors
From now on you will create the levers that will allow you to go further than ever. Get excited and take action! This is your moment! Always has been. Seize it!