Afraid of sex? Get over it and get better in bed

Fear of sex

The fear of not satisfying the couple sexually gains greater relevance every day, as society becomes sexual. As we saw in the sequence of articles about bravery, fear always emerges in our mind. Therefore we will try to work and solve this fear from its bases.

A few days ago I found this news on the net: Jean Louis G., a Frenchman of 51 who after two decades of marriage has been sentenced by a French court to pay ten thousand euros of damages to his wife for not taking on the obligations of life in common, and thus provides the Civil Code of the neighboring country. That is to say, for not having sexually satisfied her for several years, as the newspaper "Le Parisien" revealed yesterday, reason that according to the gala legislation can be considered a lack such as infidelity or disrespect for the other, and sufficient argument to request and execute a divorce (larazon.es).

He who is not afraid is brave but he who knows how to conquer it.
Nelson Mandela

Today's society is still very macho, so this fear lies mainly in male heads that lead men to feel sex as a responsibility. This need to fulfill and feel the only responsible for the sex is good, can be a great pressure and end up suffering stress and anxiety before the sexual act.

How we saw in the anxiety article, the one who suffers it tends to drag a lot of negative thoughts. This abundance of thoughts can block a person and cause erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation.

When does it first arise?

The first signs of this fear come from before having sex for the first time. A person who has never had sexual relations is completely normal to suffer from this fear, further enhanced by a common fear in all human beings that is the fear of the new.

Why is the fear of sex usually repeated?

The fear of sex is not exclusive for those with little sexual experience, although it is usually more common. Likewise, it is not the same to be afraid of sex when we have a partner, that when we are single and sex is practiced sporadically with different people.

Past dissatisfactions

Having had bad experiences in the past is a crucial factor. In general, girls tend to be very understanding towards men, however they can dry their patience and end up blaming them for their inability to make them enjoy.

It may also come from feeling that your partner does not enjoy or is not very receptive to having sex.

High expectations or dream of being the best lover you have ever had

With this women play a lot. They know that man feels full of ego when they tell him that he is the uncle who has given him the most pleasure in bed.

Our ego and our jealousy can play tricks on us, when we want to possess someone and we feel obliged to be the best lovers. These high expectations are capable of generating a high level of anxiety. where first a strong erection should occur, a level of excitement that keeps it, and then pray to endure as long as possible, at least until the woman has had an orgasm.

Men fear sex more than women.
Arthur Miller

How can we face the fear of sex?

It is very important to clarify that this fear is usually much more frequent and greater with people with whom we have not yet had previous or very scarce sexual experiences. And, never better said, we undress before a new person. And please resist the temptation to completely turn off the light. Little light is valid, but totally dark sex should be punishable by law with fines greater than traffic. From here I promote an initiative to ban it.

Therefore, we have already seen that insecurity and the need to prove our worth are usually our worst and fiercest enemies.

Improve your knowledge and skills

If we are not sure about our abilities as lovers, the most rational thing is that we try to improve. Read articles about sex Like the ones you'll find on this website or some books, they can arm you with the right techniques. This will make you feel much more confident with yourself and that your anxiety levels are reduced.

It is completely logical, if you are prepared for an exam so that you understand everything and you know it by heart, you will suffer much less anxiety than the one who has studied halfway and does not know if he is going to arrive. It is also important to see if these negative experiences have been the consequence of a physical consequence, in which you should go to a urologist and start a treatment that is right for you.

Have enthusiasm but no surreal expectations

The better one wants to do things, and the more he wants to enjoy them, the more enthusiasm he puts on them. You can take this phrase to any field, and you will see that it is true. Dream of having better sex. Visualize yourself enjoying and how you manage to make your partner enjoy, and those dreams will be food for your sexual creativity.

As for the high expectations, it is important to understand that sex is a matter of two. I consider myself a great lover since I have enjoyed many experiences that confirm it to myself.

However, I have also had some negative experiences. And although I do not like pointing the finger or throwing balls out, I know that the fault has not been mine alone. Both men and women have an active role in sex and we must seduce each other.

Only exist two important thing in the life. The first is sex and the second I don't remember.
Woody Allen

Relax and enjoy

Let's be positive and focus on making the other person enjoy the here and now. Take care of yourself. Get out of your inner self and enjoy sex as a beautiful and wonderful act in which the ultimate goal is the enjoyment of every second.

Feel deeply connected to the other person and forget about orgasms, just let yourself go. Keep any thoughts out of your mind. Insecure thoughts are what cause us to practice disconnected sex. It's like driving without paying attention to the road. The thing can not go well.

brave jungle

#wearebrave #captivatesensations

Love is fragile The complaint, the trials and the cries are chasms that can break it. Bet every day because that love never gets old. Be brave and stay away from the analysis that tempts us to point out the defects and start looking for solutions. Do not hold others responsible for your dissatisfactions; Just fix them.

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David Jungle Administrator
Passionate about psychology, poetry and fashion, David Jungle is founder and CEO of BRAVE JUNGLE. Being one of the brand's designers, author of most blog articles and coach of our courses. Author of the books: Awake Beauty, Flirt by WhatApp and We Live in Poetry.
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