Sometimes I have felt tired of accumulating adventures that, like paper boats, gradually sink towards the horizons of nothingness. But I cannot say that this is a thought that warms me too deeply. It may even be improper of me. I who show my own infinities of a certain faultless ethic and whose pages I often jump with my provocative hedonistic arguments. Letting me win over them like the one who falls for a life that he understands looking for not wanting to understand it
I remember your words now. Those of that lawyer who now awaits me at home when she told me: Your freedom ends when it affects mine.
However, I cannot help philosophizing about what the hell that is what we call freedom. It is a custome? Something we wear to appear to be cooler than an eight? Maybe to appear before ourselves? Or is it a simple ploy of this life that plays cards with us? Is it just a whimsical argument? How can one freedom not affect another?
Sometimes the greatest signal of intelligence is reduced to the minimum expression just before we realize that we have no idea and that it is fine that it is so.
However, from my point of view, freedom is something that has more to do with non-dependence than with acts of their own or others, so often difficult to analyze.
"I hope you come hungry!" —It is animated as soon as I open the door.
"Well, I'm not going to deny you that some hunger I bring."
I start looking at her carefully. As usual in it, he receives me with a generous neckline embedded in one of those bras capable of taking his eyes off the entire court of Jesus' apostles. Something in my opinion totally desmerecido, because knowing in advance what under there is hidden, no eye should be taken out of its structure because of one Intimissimi or as it is called with its deceptive push up. Although blessed is the deception if it is to rise to fly over the sweet bagpipes of desire, right?
Thoughts that go fast from my head to see his slender ass saluting with a hip twist rather than pompous. It is seen that she is happy and not for less. The thing promises ...
"I see you like cooking, you often have it here."
"Well, I love it." And I warn you that this will drive you crazy.
—The truth is that it looks good.
I lie. The pint is rather regulera pulling tell the chef to come see if he has the eggs that are needed to drive this tooth. Which obviously shut me up more for education than for my second tasting intentions. Yes, those that aim more to devour what satisfies my sex and my mind more than my stomach.
Quickly, while Marta the lawyer continues to play chef and I think about whether McDonald's will be open on Wednesday night back home, I'm taking a look at that typical apartment of students with grandmother decoration taken home from the sons. Finding me a relatively large room, with a modern television highlighting the antiquity of everything else. In front of a sofa with a white sheet, also from the 50s and a table for sure ridiculous which is where avecino is going to play dinner.
"Help me with this, go!"
"Of course, sit down." You have already been a cook, it's my turn to serve you the rest of the night.
-Oh yeah? And are you going to serve me everything I want?
"I am more of serving you what I know you will love." Good waiters don't need to ask for things, you know? They already know what you want.
"It may be, but I like to send," he says with a gesture of aggression as we both take a seat at the table.
- Something I have been able to perceive of that appetite of your lawyer. You like to feel empowered right?
"And what happens when they take it away but it seems that you still have it?"
"I don't know, that has never happened to me," he replies with a chubby air.
As I imagined, dinner is crap. Which does not discourage me either because I am used to cooking myself any crap.
"You are a chulita but I forgive you." This is very good - I affirm releasing one of the most brazen lies of my life.
"Of course, let's see what you thought."
"Well, if you ask me, there is something I do think about you that I think makes you quite special."
"I don't think you're going to surprise me, but try ..."
"I love that under that appearance of extreme security and confidence, sometimes you show some gestures of insecurity that make you really sweeping."
"I gestures of insecurity?"
-Yes. One of them saw him the first night we met. When you refused to go to bed no matter how much I tried and no matter how much we rubbed in bed.
"I already told you that the first night with a boy I don't lie down."
"I doubt you're a strong advocate of that kind of topic." I think it was more scary. I was ashamed.
"I embrace the fifth amendment ..." He smiles, arguing his non-response.
"In case you fear feeling insecure with me, or even, recognizing that you felt this way?"
"I refuse to answer," she says, laughing more lively.
Continuing with his defendant response set that relies on the law, at that moment I get up, approaching her as I sharply turn her chair to put her right in front of me. Crouching down to kiss her sex with strong pressure over her tight pants. Feeling his warmth on my lips despite the jeans.
"You don't need to answer me with words, I have other mechanisms so you want to end up giving me reason," I whisper as I look at her from that position.
A few centimeters of his sex while I climb to give him a soft bite in the navel area.
"You never thought about studying law?" You're not bad at persuasion ...
"Would you like me to stroke you right here, walking slowly with my tongue as I enjoy your taste?" I whisper, perceiving how she begins to sulphure. If not? Well, for that I want my answer before.
I rejoin to sit in my chair. His gaze glows me. Obviously something like that was not expected.
"Can you remind me of the question?" She whispers laughing with a clear gesture of an excitement she tries to contain.
"I want to find out how you are." How are you under that security facade. Discover the beauty of seeing you facing uncertainty and feeling that everything is beyond your control.
"Okay, I recognize it." I was a little embarrassed to sleep with you that night.
"Well, maybe shame isn't the exact word." Rather it was a little cushioned. But it is also something that you yourself looked for with so much spiritual mysticism and so much insinuation.
After his revelation I discover what he was looking for and that he already knew. He had intimidated her and that had brought out one of her most beautiful images of herself. Something that although that night had left me with two candles and with a fussy egg pain, no doubt now I appreciated and caused me to become more and more excited.
"Do you have doubts about me?"
"I have doubts about what is supposed to happen between us."
—That's good, I think that doubt is always a fundamental ingredient in those things that make us live with total emotion. But the problem is not the doubts, the only problem is to stand before them. The desire to be carried away and thrown to the last consequences is what for me, in short, makes things worthwhile and that fears end up falling.
—That's very easy to say.
On his face I can see the look of warriors fallen in battle. With the sum of her wounds accumulating and preventing her from getting up even if she wanted to. Something that far from being sad, tender and encourages me to be the one who throws a lifeline.
"There will always be times when you simply have to endure the blows." Moments in which you will have to bite your teeth. Moments in which you have the feeling of not knowing or where to get. In which You'll want to run away, escape everything maybe looking for a place to finally breathe more freely. I don't know ... it's simply part of life.
-I know. And I know that reality should not prevent me from enjoying what I have in front of me, but what is in front of me? At whose expense I am going to embark on a new struggle and what will I discover from that person in our next battles.
"Your biggest fear is that they end up disappointing you, right?"
"It's possible, I'm not sure," he smiles, giving up a subject that no matter how much he tries to order, it only causes him to get deeper and deeper into chaos.
After his revelations, unable to contain the movements of my body, I get up skirting his chair to bend down and hug her from behind. Kissing his neck while I feel his eyes close at the touch of my touch. Sniffing his neck, falling, dropping me ...
"I have a little motto," I whisper like the confidant who is going to propose a life of sin to you, "and if I can't run from my enemy, it's best that I try to make him my ally.
"What am I supposed to understand, dear Nietzsche?" He asks just before giving me a warm, wet kiss on the lips.
"That if doubt is your enemy, learn to make yourself strong in doubt," I whisper, staring at her. Maybe letting doubts make everything more exciting. Not seeking to avoid it, but wanting to appreciate it. I cannot take away your doubts because I tell you what life tells you will continue to be unpredictable and I would not be aware that we would try to see it differently.
—Yeah, we can't promise anything, that's where I get…
"There you are wrong, we can promise some things."
"Mmmmm, and you can know what?" He continues to ask as I manage to take off his shirt.
Releasing her skin, I begin to caress her from her firm and flat abdomen to her breasts. Climbing slowly, stopping slowly. Biting the earlobe. Feeling how his body shudders and his breathing cuts.
"I can promise you, as I told you before, that I want to feel your taste in my mouth." Feel yourself exploding on my lips. Slowly, quickly or fleetingly, it doesn't matter.
"That would not be a bad way to dispel doubts," he whispers when he gets up.
He whispers just before bending down, taking off my belt and getting hot and hard in his mouth.
The bastard has anticipated my next steps. I am now succumbed to the games of his tongue, sucking desperately for a few moments and very slowly in others, when he looks up at my eyes. Savoring and savoring, smiling inside. Circling your tongue about my sex. Feeling the way she is, seductive. Powerful. Jovial. Fun Hearing her moan as she squeezes my sex with her lips again and again stressing my whole body.
"Get up," I order.
-What? What do you want to do to me?
At that moment I push her against the sofa and her pants can't resist me for a minute. I drop it on the floor while I urge her to turn around to end up placing her in the doggy position. Admiring her smooth and steep ass while I bend down to suck her sex with my tongue to end up getting inside. And time passes and passes, fucking and fucking until one of her neighbors shouts at the other side of the wall that we stop fucking at once, to which she shouts one of the wisest phrases I've ever heard : I fuck whatever I want in my house!
How sweet to disperse doubts in this way ...
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Doubts are not the problem. The only problem is to stand up to doubts, but if you feel within you the desire to do so until the last consequences, in the end all fears end up falling. Resist one more time, just one more time. And another. And another. And another. And another ... Become strong in the face of doubt and learn to get free of it so that it is not this that makes you throw in the towel, but that makes the fight more exciting.