To generate rapport is to create a psychological and emotional harmony that connects us with other people. Being able to synchronize with their values and beliefs, which will generate a strong empathic connection.
- 1 Connect with the beliefs and values of others
- 2 What brings us to know these beliefs and values?
- 3 Wake up beauty: Creativity in the art of love
- 4 We live in poetry: Poems and thoughts in prose
- 5 Final conclusion
Connect with the beliefs and values of others
Largely the creencias Forge our personality. Determining everything we consider important in our way of interpreting the world. Meanwhile, our values They form our identity and explain how we behave and act.
If a person tells us: «For me the most important thing is to enjoy life». He is communicating an important belief and value to her. Being able to suppose that for that person the pleasures prevail over the values related to the effort; although not necessarily. Well it is possible that in environments such as labor also get to enjoy the moment; simply for their attitudes.
What brings us to know these beliefs and values?
Knowing the beliefs and values of the people with whom we interact allows us to develop a map of their way of seeing life. Being able to adapt our communication to that personal guide of yours.
That is, we can adapt our messages to what we know is important for that person. Avoiding judging it and reaching greater doses of understanding. Which in turn will generate that rapport that we had mentioned before.
Does this mean that if we think differently we have to be false to please others?
Not at all! We can always defend our own beliefs and values if we wish, but without imposing them. That is, by making the other person see that we understand their ways of thinking and respect them, while we talk to them about the way we share part of those appreciations.
An example to understand everything
–Without money, everything else is secondary. I do not understand people who settle for mediocre employment. (Beliefs and values: Overcoming, well-being, effort ...)
Response without empathy
-I do not think so! I prefer a job that allows me time to enjoy simple things than superficial material goods. You have to work to live. Not being a slave to work and always looking for more things to accumulate.
We communicate our beliefs and values without respecting or emphasizing the positive points of the other person's beliefs.
Response with empathy
-I understand you perfectly (we reinforce their behavior). Undoubtedly overcome and strive for what we want is very important (we identify with their values and beliefs). Without money we would not survive in this society (we support the source of his main argument). However, for me it is also very important to enjoy the simple things. I think it is better to have something less but have more time to freely enjoy what we have at our disposal. Above all, of the people around us (we communicate our beliefs and values).
Side effects of each type of response
Response without empathy
Most likely, we will enter into an endless discussion where both people defend the strengths of their position. Avoiding at all costs to give the other person the reason in his good points.
In the end, all we get is to distance ourselves. Even if, saving the differences in our thoughts, we could perfectly have a wonderful relationship.
This happens to us many times with friends we have known for a long time, and although we maintain a relationship of colleagues (we go out with them and have a good time) on an emotional level they do not reach us so much. Generating dissatisfaction in the relationship when we address important issues that involve us at the level of beliefs and values.
Response with empathy
We generate positive emotions in the other person by seeing their ideas reinforced, while perceiving the usefulness we can offer by sharing ours.
If that hardworking person struggles to have a lot of money, in the sense that sometimes he does not have time for himself and enjoys little life, he can find utility in our company. Since we can help you cover that dissatisfaction.
That is why they say that many times that extremes are attracted. And although we like to get together with people who share our ways of seeing and feeling life, we are also attracted to the people who complement us. At the same time we enjoy sharing ideas that are different and give us something different.
Try to see the good side of the beliefs and values of others practicing active listening. Communicate your way of sharing or identifying with them and express your ideas with respect. Without judging the other person.
This way you will get a great rapport in your relationships, and by the way, you will be free of your own beliefs. Getting to appreciate those of others and everything they can give you.
Dispelled the dust that infers our relationships we always find words wrong in moments certainly unfortunate. We have all fallen into this trap, but it is in our hands to stop doing so. Bet on taking control of the situation and focus on the beauty of finding common ground through the differences themselves. No one is right in everything, but together, we will find the reason that makes us feel connected.