Empathy is commonly known as the ability to put oneself in the place of others. It is an exercise in understanding. To look through the eyes of others to imagine how they feel and act.
Its great power as a weapon of seduction lies in the expertise of empathy for Discover the desires and needs of the people we like. Even if they are hidden. Empathy leads us to open Pandora's box of our hearts. It invites us to enter the unknown world of others to dazzle us with new philosophical visions about any attitude and fact. Dramatically increasing our chance of create emotional connections deep.
Some argue that empathy is the best communication skill in order to make someone fall in love. For me, there is no doubt. Since without it it is almost impossible to communicate emotionally and connect with others.
At the same time, empathy helps us resolve any conflict or rejection and remain more emotionally stable without falling into useless anger and grudges. It is a basic social skill for the assertive communication work
- 1 Use empathy to seduce and fall in love
- 1.1 Create an empathic connection
- 1.2 Wake up beauty: Creativity in the art of love
- 1.3 We live in poetry: Poems and thoughts in prose
- 1.4 Exit self-absorption
- 1.5 From insecurity to appreciation
- 1.6 Get information with empathy
- 1.7 Use the imagination to be more empathetic
Use empathy to seduce and fall in love
Create an empathic connection
Let's remember those times that you felt really connected with a person you liked. Relive those moments of pleasure where it seemed that you were both provocatively united. Ropes that tied one heart to another. How did you listen to her? How did you look at her? What did you feel throughout your body?
Notice how by reliving those moments you can notice the Mindfulness you felt. Empathy not only comes from what we say, but from the sensations that we transmit and transmit. There are those who have words left over. A complicit look is worth telling them how things are going. That is an empathic connection. When emotions communicate by themselves and their message is felt through nonverbal language. A feeling of love, sometimes the result of passion, sometimes of friendship or appreciation.
By summarizing, empathy helps us understand and know each other. Let's see an example taken from my book Wake up beauty.
Empathy Example 1
—I recently left a rather stormy relationship and right now I am not interested in having a partner again.
-I understand you perfectly. I've been there and I know that the wounds of the heart take time to heal. Although for me the most important thing is this moment. Enjoy me now. You don't have to justify yourself if you finally don't want us to have anything more serious.
"I know, but I wasn't calm if I didn't tell you."
I see that somehow a small weight has been removed from it and I believe that releasing it from that tension will allow us to be more ourselves. It is not that I am not interested in having a relationship with her, in reality right now I think I would love to, but I am aware that the only way that can happen is without thinking about it. Feeling free from unnecessary pressures and being realistic.
"Quiet, as long as you keep looking at me with that inner strength that you transmit and continue to make me so dumb every time you smile at me, I don't need you to ask me for marriage," I say, changing the tone for a more jovial one.
-Hears! In any case you would ask me that you are the boy, right?
—That would be to break with one of the great dreams of my childhood. I've always fantasized about that day when a girl knelt before me with a good boulder.
"What a face you have!" Although it would not be bad, it is time to break that topic and for women to definitely take over.
In the prologue of Robert Green's book "The Art of Seduction", the author makes special mention of the ability to empathize to seduce him by saying: "When a seducer meets someone, his first move is to enter his skin, contemplate the world through his eyes. First, self-absorption is a sign of insecurity; It is anti-inductor. We all have insecurities, but the seducers manage to ignore them, finding as a therapy for moments of doubt to be absorbed by the world. Which gives them an optimistic spirit that makes it desirable to be around them. ”
Personally, this seems to me a simply masterful definition. And what follows, which we will see soon, is not far behind. I explain.
The only way to combat the darkness of fears and insecurities is through the light. In the case of brave people, their feat is not that they do not feel fear, but that they manage to act despite fear. They manage to look more towards what enlightens them, than towards what retracts them. That is to say, they put their focus on what they want, and let themselves be guided by that dream that navigates their mind.
From insecurity to appreciation
Fear arises from desire, because when we want something we may not get it. However, there is a mainly philosophical difference that leads us to act in one way or another. That difference is love, passion: the most intense light. Want to live intensely. Enjoy the natural risk of living now. The dance of emotions. It makes us go out to live what comes from outside. It opens our eyes to dazzle us with beauty.
However, However, the highest cost was for the planet. Only one of these wee wee pads takes approximately XNUMX years to decompose. Putting ourselves in the best of cases, a dog uses XNUMX pad daily for only XNUMX years of his life, so when he is a puppy and when he is elder he would use XNUMX soakers in total. If we take into account that only in Spain there are XNUMX million dogs, mostly of mini race, with greater tendency to use wee wee pads and assuming that at least XNUMX% use them, we are talking about a figure of XNUMX wee wee pads that are used daily. Tons and tons of waste are thrown daily to the planet so that our dog does not spoil our house. to others the desire paralyzes them through fear, because their self-absorption makes them live imprisoned in their mind. They collide again and again around and around between insecure thinking and review of possible damage. Hence the paralysis. To focus on possible negative repercussions, rather than on possible honey.
Focus on discovering those qualities that you appreciate most from the other person. Let her be your muse from a deep empathic understanding of her. Thus you will leave the insecurities of your mind to open wide the doors of your world. Let's see another example of my book Wake up beauty.
Empathy Examples 2
"I feel bad that you go out with your friends so much." Most of them are single, baby and you know what you will do out there - my boyfriend says something altered and visibly worried.
"I understand you feel that way." Maybe in your place I would put myself in the same way. I would be jealous and bitter, thinking about what you would be doing out there. But I am still very young; I need to go out with my friends at least one day a week and enjoy them too. There is time for everything and you know perfectly well that if I am with you it is because we have both chosen it and so it will remain as long as we are well. It is not worth spoiling what we have worrying too much. We can trust each other and feel free being together.
"If I trust, I trust." But I can hardly imagine what you will be doing. But well, nothing happens. I understand that with your age you don't want to quit partying and I wouldn't feel good if you did, feeling obligated. The most important thing is that we are happy together and squeeze every second with that joy that you transmit to me so much. I will talk with some friends to go out myself or I will resume my passion for reading for those nights.
-Thank you for understanding. If my boyfriend is worth millions!
—One billion dollars to be more precise. But your lips are worth much more and I have the pleasure of having them at my service.
"Come closer and enjoy them now, right?" I think you deserve them.
He approaches and, the moment I have his lips close, he removes them. Re-elucidate his instinctive instinct. I grab his hair, pulling hard even though it hurts. I force him to stick his lips to mine. Where they should be!
Get information with empathy
Continuing with the same paragraph of "The Art of Seduction" by Robert Green: Getting inside the skin of a person, imagining how it turns out to be like her, helps seducers gather valuable information. To learn what moves it.
Thus, Empathy becomes an instrument to raise our ability to observe, and put our focus on the moment. In what is happening now with that other person. In everything he does or says. Hence its high intrinsic value. Who doesn't like to feel heard? Do we not value more those who seem to understand us? In case we don't feel better with these kind of people?
If we appreciate being heard and feel better about it, it is normal for us to open up even more. Listening is an art, but it is an art that bores many. But the more our empathy skill increases, the less boredom it causes us. We begin to live what they tell us! In this way, we can assess and appreciate traits that the other person really values for themselves. We can perform well-founded praise, while most make common and empty compliments. Information is power.
Empathy Example 3
"I've had a pretty bad year." They changed the board of directors of my company and I had many problems at work. Then in my family there were also problems for my teenage sister who is always getting into trouble. And anyway ... I have not been with a boy for all that time.
"Well, but in the end you are here wearing a red dress and leaving a handsome and elegant boy almost breathless."
-Hahaha! Yes, a boy who doesn't need a grandmother to get compliments.
"Well, it's just a little joke." Except for leaving me breathless. That is totally true. But hey, tell me, in the end you solved that little jungle of little problems?
"Yes, in the end everything is fine." They even promoted me in my work. It was hard, but he had his reward. And I keep my sister on the sidewalk whenever I can.
"I don't know why I sensed that ending." Since we met last weekend, just seeing you and I felt you were a very strong woman. Of those that resist any blow and take advantage of them to learn and grow. I'm wrong?
"Mmmm, you're not misled." In fact, we should toast how good you are. I've always considered myself that way.
—To toast for flattery deserved towards my person I am always willing. But this time, I think it is better that we toast because of how much you are liking me. For your way of being, and for your red dress.
-Haha! Chin Chin.
Use the imagination to be more empathetic
A resource that has always helped me to seduce a woman is to previously imagine what it would be like to spend time with her. I imagine myself with her in all kinds of contexts. Maybe he'll see us walking along the beach sharing intimacies, and then recreate his way of looking at me. What could he be telling me. I can also imagine how he smiles and hits me on the shoulder after spending a small joke. How it responds to my way of being. What would we do if we were close together, glued to each other, letting ourselves be carried away by the passion of our bodies.
Of course, all this visualization is sometimes completely perceptive and does not always give us clues about how the other person is. Especially if we haven't even talked to that other person before and we don't know her. But it helps us to feel love and understanding towards her, something very important for empathy. We generate a feeling of appreciation that she will notice when she is before our presence.
This is a powerful resource, but at the same time dangerous. He needs a philosophy of now that escapes the clutches of emotional dependence, but such visualizations can cause a fictional obsession. If you decide to use this tool, do not forget that it is nothing more than that, a tool to feel and obtain subjective perceptual information. The last thing you need is to fall in love with someone that only you have imagined. Likewise, if you find yourself in a love obsession, look at this other article: Emotional dependence: How to overcome the love obsession.
Empathy Examples 4
-Hi! You see, I've been looking at you for a while and I still can't choose what I like most about you. I'm getting nervous and everything.
"Well, you won't wait for me to tell you ..." he replies in a tone with little hints of aggressiveness.
"Well, clues would be accepted." It wouldn't be bad to know what you like most about yourself. Although right now I have it clearer.
—Let's see what?
"Without a doubt, I keep your lips." They make a perfect combination with your character. They are fleshy and explosive. Maybe even awesome. But in turn they process a hidden world of dreams. More or less like you.
"Well, I'm not always that edge." But they have already come to talk to me several boys and in the end one gets tired. But I liked your definition of my lips. It is the least curious.
"Do you consider yourself a curious girl?"
"Mmmm, a little."
"Enough to try to meet me?"
"I don't know if you still earned that."
"Well, when I have earned it, let me know." For now, give me two kisses. I'm David.
Escape the taboos. You cannot live with the rope around the neck of what they will say. Escape those cemeteries. It is now the moment in which the flashes occur, the reflections that show you there is to discover in you. Escape the conditions that make you a social slave. There is always much more to those flashes. Be the child you were again. Look again with the eyes of the new under the mystery of the beautiful.