Learn to control your emotions by fully accepting human psychology. All people have their character and go through moments of love and hate. Some are envious, others too proud, others are resentful, others frustrated, and others are simply happy, kind and smiling.
In any case, the emotional states of others (and of course their own) change at every moment. The feelings are constantly ongoing and how we feel notoriously determines how we behave.
Emotional control It is to be more capable of not being a slave to their energies and to take control of them to act in a way that suits your interests.
Get upset and angryBeing faced with outside behaviors can be useless, and end up generating more resentment and hatred than solutions.
Learn to interpret your own emotions with awareness. As in meditation, become an observer. If you put aside your own insecurities and desires, you will be able to empathize and visualize better the needs of others and what frustrates them.
- 1 Emotional intelligence How to control your negative emotions 5 simple techniques
- 1.1 Wake up beauty: Creativity in the art of love
- 1.2 We live in poetry: Poems and thoughts in prose
How to control your negative emotions
5 simple techniques
1. Avoid unconscious emotional contagion
Working as a coach I have been fortunate to have as clients very successful people from whom I have been able to learn almost as much from them as they from me. As an example of emotional controlI remember an anecdote that one of them, a prominent businessman from Barcelona, told me. He was looking for parking in a busy and distinguished area of his city, where he was going to have dinner with a friend.
At one point, he went to park and during the maneuver it is seen that annoyed another driver. What caused that this one lowered the window and began to give him a good dose of insults.
My student's response was exemplary. He just rolled down the window and said, Thank you very much gentleman, have a good night.
Her friend, surprised, asked her later: How did you say nothing more? It has put you well to broth. To which he replied: That person right now is full of shit inside, but his crap in my house does not enter. I decide what goes in and what doesn't.
2. Put your present goals ahead of toxic feelings or emotions
Masterly way of managing your emotions, don't you think? This boy had a date. I wanted to feel pleasant emotions. That was his goal when leaving home; Do not alter with the hatred and anger of another person. Entering the dispute would not have won anything and could have lost much.
Remembering his goal allowed him to manage his emotions, which also helped him be perceived as a person with a attractive personality In the eyes of your date.
He simply observed, analyzed intelligently and acted, leaving aside the emotions that the other person could infect him. Also without falling into the pride that sometimes assails us when we disrespect and makes us make such awkward and disastrous decisions.
If there is nothing to gain except pride, that battle is as useless as a freckle in the ass.
However, if it is difficult for you to control your pride, in this case and as we have commented on other occasions, we can give you an outlet on its positive side. We might think: In case I am not able to make this slip and that this guy goes home with my ignorance?
Practice detachment and acceptance
From detachment and acceptance you can better understand others and communicate with the precision and calm that will make you rise above their hearts. You will be able to see any situation from the outside, observing and being aware of every detail without distorting it based on your own insecurities.
Accept without criminalizing anyone that we all have our moments and that others can act in a way that harms us sometimes even without wanting to. Heaven and hell are here. They live and experience themselves on earth through emotions. If we let other people spread their hatred, we will only contribute to a lack of understanding faithfully accompanied by mutual destruction.
It is not about being passive and not reacting to possible verbal aggressions or disrespect. It is about acting with strategic intelligence, looking for solutions through communication.
To prevent naivety and anticipate events there is only one attitude: observe. And observe well! Getting fully into the minds of others. Trying to feel and think as they do at that moment. Put emotions aside and see through their eyes by empathy. Searching within ourselves for the behaviors and words that most bring us closer to our interests.
Be a light in yourself
Sometimes we tend to judge and judge ourselves while we look for all kinds of excuses to justify that we are not where we want. It is one of the deceptions of the mind, which is thrown into the search for arguments that release the tensions of our failures. The conclusion is simple: before not being able to control the reactions of our emotions by the frustrationWhat we do is throw balls out. What implies to see us manipulated by them by means of a defense mechanism that little can help us to change.
Be the change you want to see in the world.
It is very easy to complain that our life is not our dream ideal. It is very easy to search and analyze all kinds of external factors or blame other people for our failures. But get up and say very loud: Here I am, I feel alive and able to find the solutions! That is more difficult ...
Worst of all, the deception is worth little, because deep down our needs remain unsatisfied. Then we put on the glasses of unhappiness and we can only see life through the reflection of that problem. And so we can spend years and years living in a emotional myopia... Being unhappy because our blindness prevents us from looking beyond the immense beauty that surrounds our lives.
Your dreams will give wings to your actions so that all the changes you want to make in your life occur. Everything is in your hands: dream, live and act. Be a light in yourself! Be the change you want to see in the world.
Bet on the illusion of change
Change is one of the most used words in advertising and the political environment for a reason: we are all excited to change. See us better than we were. However, a common characteristic in those who are slaves to both their emotions and their beliefs is that they really do not believe that they can change. They may say with pride: I am like this and if you love me you accept me or else they give you. And it is a phrase that no matter how cool it is, it only projects defeatism in a life that does change and to which they have to adapt for good or bad.
So instead of throwing balls out to justify your laziness or feel sorry for your misfortunes, get excited about the changes. As we know, emotions have great energy that when repressed can end up exploding in some other way. But we can harness that energy for positive ends that fill us with motivation. That is the best way to output it. Being able to imagine ourselves in a future where our behaviors and results are different and attract them more and more to our lives, since our attention will direct us to them.
When you feel any kind of frustration or anxiety, recreate new illusions and goals that you want now. Imagine yourself filled with joy struggling to achieve it. Remember yourself in past situations where you felt you could handle everything. Think that you have already achieved them, and from there rewinds the tape. Start visualizing yourself doing what you have decided to do to get there. And do it in full color, don't imagine a hard road full of sacrifice and boredom, no. Imagine him as the hero that you are in this play that is your life and make it a great play.
Visualize a path of enthusiasm, where work is not work, but a passion that activates a vitality where motivation and enthusiasm surround you, filling you with satisfaction.
Never abandon your ability to dream, for you will abandon your illusion. The results will not matter, these are consequences of the work. What really matters, whether you succeed or not, or what you have dreamed of as you dreamed or better or worse, is that your present is charged with energy. Of enthusiasm!
More in my free guide:
Emotional intelligence: Guide to manage your emotions
He who learns from pain and his teachings sometimes deviates to paths of more pain; He has not learned more than repression. Knowing does not mean that what one knows drives him toward wise procedures. The stems of pain need poetry and acceptance so as not to rot your garden. Without poetry pain sometimes only brings more pain. With her you feel that you have never been nor will you be alone and that sorrows and joys always await in the new day.